Internet Love Stories

To leap or not to leap . . . I leaped and hoped and he caught me.

To have an internet relationship has got to be the most complex and rewarding experiences of my life. I never thought in a million years I would love so unconditionally via internet. I was the woman who swore off men and love. Those two things didn’t mix like oil and water, didn’t they?

Wrong. When I first “met” him, I instantly felt at ease with him. Why? I could never answer that because I didn’t even know what I was about to get into. Our first conversation lasted for 6 hrs! I couldn’t believe that I had stayed up all night talking to some guy halfway around the world. I tried many times to stop conversing with him (I was unnerved how easily I could speak to him). But like a blind idiot, I ignored all warnings in my head and followed my heart’s desire.

We became close really fast (I would give anything in the world to see our past conversations). He would make me cry tears of joy, laugh like no tomorrow, and dream like no other. He planted hope and happiness inside me that I believe to be long dead. He made me dream again and grasp for happiness. When I realized he had gotten through all my defenses and now held my very soul in the palm of his hand; I panicked. I refused to believe that I loved him. Love didn’t exist, and most certainly not through the internet as well! After much debating with myself, I decided to email him.

I told him how I was confused and didn’t know what to do. I expressed how much I liked him . . . more than in a friend way. I couldn’t come to terms with myself telling him that I loved him, so instead I said, ” . . . I think I Love You.” Day after day passed and with each day I became a nervous wreck. Then a week passed, I was on the edge of hysteria. I scolded myself many times for acting like I did (and he hadn’t even replied yet), but I couldn’t stop the worry. Six weeks passed and I was traumatized. I concluded that he read the email, dubbed m psycho, and wanted to never speak to me again.

I refused to let myself cry. I went through all my emails and deleted anything relating to him permanently. As my hand hovered over to block him from my IM list, I said one last goodbye and called myself an idiot, then he popped up on the screen with his infamous “Hiya” and smiley face. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

Turns out, he had been studying for final exams, taking exams, and then attended some stupid dance his school hosted. I almost melted into a puddle when he told me that. After my heart rate returned to normal, I asked him to check his email . . . he did. He told me that he felt the same way, except that he didn’t think, but he knew that he loved me. I started crying my eyes out right in front of the computer like a blubbering idiot. I was relieved, exuberant, and finally, at peace with myself for the first time in my life.

It’s been two years since that fateful day and we’ve yet to meet. But I know no matter what happens, he would never stop loving me. He would cross a thousand seas just to catch a glimpse of me; I’m that sure he loves me. Someone once told me that when a person is truly happy, you will throw your head back and laugh uncaring of the world around you. I know when I’m finally in his arms, I’ll throw back my head and laugh. I love you, my Darling, and I think about you every day. I count down the days until we meet.

Sincerely,

Your Fiery Nymph

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