4
November
2008

She’s from  India

He’s from    India

Myself shinna. Vikky and i, met on intranet in office one year back. I was 25 and he was 26.Though we were quite mature but still “Love is blind”.

I and him were working in same company but at diffrent location.One day I find a colleuge of mine have same surname as i have. It was 30th dec, so i decided to sent him a mail to wish New year. I sent him a mail and got reply in 4 hrs.But as i didnt want to talk to him everyday or make him friend, i didnt reply him.

Days passed, neighter I nor he mailed me. After 20 days , he sent me a mail . As a courtesy i also sent him a mail . Than he sent me a mail with compliment good one , gr8. But we didnt start talking to each other for so many days. Finaly after  a month he asked me abt me and my family thn we start talking. then i given my no to him .

Once he got my number he started smsing me in wish of talking to me on sms after our office hrs. Firstly we talk on sms thogh he had my number but he never called me, but we start chatting every day atleast for hour or two. He showed me his wish to meet me with the clear intention to make love but i am not agreed upon it as i am a girl who want to be of his hubbies only, i didnt want to fall in love at all.Then he said when you will call me only then i ll come to your city.

Then we start calling each other , we talked for quite sometime but very formally. He proposed me to come with my friends to middle of the country to celebrate chrismas that way we can meet eachother but i simply refuse but yes, it was the time when i start loving him and really wanted to get married to him. As he was the elder son of the family and doesnt have parents. He live with them and want he should go for love marriage. Then he said if my sister get married first then i ll marry you by going against my grantparents.

He started searching a guy for her sister but was not succeed, before his sister got married his family received a alliance for him , but he refuse to his family by saying i want my sister marriage to be first. Then girl agreed to wait till his sister got married.That day we were talking to eachother on mail , He asked me what if next month i got married.I said than i ll be happy for you but you have to explaine your courtship days to me as we promissed .Suddenly he said i am saying’yes to that girl’. I thought he is joking than i called him very next day to confirm. He said i am gonna get engage with a girl of my grandparents choice. i congratulate him and wish him for great married life.

But i never told him reality that i was crying for whole night. I called my friend to tell that he is getting married and cryed in front of him for an hour . Now even we talk for sometime . He must be happy with her but he never told me about his relation.But i even today check my mail box with the hope that he will mail me or sms me. One day he will come back to me.

Shinna

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4
November
2008

“They say that love doesn’t cost, but then again, why do so many people pay for it?” Last night I was about to fell asleep when suddenly the phone rings. It’s a long distance call from my friend. He was crying while saying “I don’t want to live anymore, she’s gone, what will I do?” I tried to calm him first asking him what happened then he said her fiancée left him for another man. “What could be the reason, why did she leave me?” he asked. “Only you can answer that question”, I said. Then I recall that I have once involved in the same situation, the difference is I am not the one who’s asking this questions. I’m the one who left for another.

It was Saturday morning when I decided to end my relationship with this man. I don’t know how to say it or what to do to make it easier for him to accept everything but as the song goes by “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart” that’s why I just tell him the truth. I don’t love him anymore, I don’t know but I just fell out of love. Maybe because he’s always there for me… sounds funny isn’t it? Well he’s always been there for me, wherever I go, he’s there, in every occasion, he’s there, in my work, in school, anywhere, as if I don’t have my freedom. I don’t have my own time, time for myself to choose where I want to go or to be with my friends. Just like that…I felt that I need to have a space for myself…I got irritated whenever he call asking me if I already eat or where will I go. That’s why one day I decided not to answer his calls. I did not tell him my plans for the day. I went to the mall alone, bought something for my self, I even watch movie alone, eat my favorite foods and I feel so very free.When I got home, he’s there waiting for me. My mom told me he’s been waiting for almost four hours. He then asked me where I’ve been, why did I left without even telling him, who’s with me, those stupid questions. I just said, I go out all by my self and I don’t have to tell him everything. What’s wrong with me, he asked. Nothing I said. I just want to be alone. Could you give some time to be with my self? Give me some space!
           

After that night, I talked to my friend whom I recently met just before I got bored with my man. He’s more matured and manly than him and we talked every night after I finished working. He always makes me laugh and I really like his sense of humor. We just talked using a two way radio and then one night he went to my place to finally meet him. We became good friends I guess after we met.Before this, I told my boy that I met a friend and we always talked. He’s a jealous type of a man but I made him understand that he’s just a friend of mine.In spite of asking him to give me some space, he still did the same thing. He still visited me in my work, he still call me, went to my place as if nothing happens. And because he did not give me time to think, I finally decided to end our relationship. Well I don’t love him anymore; I mean how can I love a man who doesn’t want to give my own freedom? What will you do if you’re in my shoes? I left him and I accidentally fell in love with the man who’s now the father of my two daughters.The last news I’ve heard from him is he went abroad and worked there.And so I told my friend who’s on the phone to just let go and give his self a little time to think. Letting go of someone you love is really hard but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder. It doesn’t mean that you are weak when you give up, it only shows that you are strong enough to let go to start a new beginning.Because I’m too sleepy that night, I even did not notice that my friend who called is the man I once left before.

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