A month later, right after I started my first semester of college, he saw me on Crystal’s friends’ list on Myspace.com. He remembered me, added me, and we started messaging back and forth. This went on for about a week, but it was three weeks into the semester, he went to the same college, and I had no friends there, so I wanted to get to know him better. I finally got the courage to step it up a notch, and I asked him to add me on Windows Live Messenger (so brave, I know lol). The first night we chatted, I believe it was a Thursday night, our conversation lasted for seven hours!The more I learned about him, as the conversation went on, the more intrigued I was. He was romantic, chivalrous, sweet, thoughtful, and we had so much in common, it was like I had found another me! Absolutely amazing!
I discovered that Crystal had dumped him a few days before. Neither of us believe in rebounds, so we both agreed that if we were going to have any kind of relationship, we would start out as friends, and just see where things went.
We finally called it a night around 3:00 a.m., but not before he asked me out on our first “date,” breakfast at Hardee’s the next morning.

I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep, so I stayed in the dorm computer lab for a while longer. As I messed around on the internet, a young man named Nick Kimmel came into the computer lab. He wasn’t in there for very long, and he asked if I wanted to come back to his room and watch movies. In my Freshman naivete, and eager to make a new friend, I agreed. When we got into his room, I discovered to my horror that he was NOT just being a nice guy, and though I was almost raped, I managed to fight him off and escape to my room, rather shaken but physically unharmed.
I lay in bed that night, crying hard and praying to God (I’m a very religious person) for a good guy, who would love me for who I was and be as much my friend as my lover. I didn’t realize He would answer my prayer so quickly.
I went to breakfast the next morning with Andrew, and we again talked for a very long time. I was nervous at first. He was so tall, around 6′2″, and I was so small, 5′0″. He was a perfect gentleman, though.
As we ate and talked, I studied him. At the age of 22, he was only three years older than me, but he seemed very mature and somewhat old fashioned in his beliefs about life and love. He had what I would call an old soul. I could tell he was growing weary of offering his heart and having it smashed, and he seemed very guarded as well. But he was also friendly, and sweet. We hit it off immediately, and so agreed to go hunting the next Monday when we came back for the next week of classes.
Andrew quickly became my best friend. My first impression of him was accurate at the time, but there was so much more to him than that. He loved  to sing, and we’d do loud, obnoxious duets in the car on the way out to our favorite hunting spots. He was mature and steady when the situation called for it, but he was also very fun loving, and he knew that there are times to be silly and just let go and be yourself. He lived and breathed hunting and fishing, just like I did. We found that getting out and enjoying nature was the one way we could be our closest to the God who created it all.
We did almost everything together: homework, studying, running errands, hanging out, doing all kinds of outdoor activities. We even ended up working together as tutors at the campus student support service. As a side job, he stocked chips and pizzas at Wal*Mart and Hy-Vee, and I’d tag along and help out.
He was so handsome, so funny, so giving, and kind. Not just to me, but to everyone. He was one of those nice guys that everyone overlooked. And I soon realized that I was really growing to care for him, far more than I wanted to admit.

I ended up blurting it out to him one night after he’d had a bad day. We were talking online, like we did every night before we went to bed, and he was upset because he felt like nothing he did was making anyone happy; because all of his friends seemed to be kicking him out of their lives; because no woman would ever just love him for who he was.
And I asked him, “Why can’t you just let me love you?”
His response was no surprise. “YOU LOVE ME???”
I then just threw in the towel and told him everything. How I loved his beautiful blue eyes, his soft brown hair, his contagious laugh, how he could brighten my day with a simple smile. That I loved how I could be my crazy, silly, goofy self, and he may look at me funny for a moment, but soon, he would be right there with me, laughing and joking and having a good time.
I had indeed fallen in love. With my best friend.
He gently told me that while he cared deeply about me, he didn’t quite feel the same way. He was still in a lot of pain from his last relationship and wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk getting hurt again so soon. And I understood completely. I just wanted to be there for him and wanted him to know I cared.

I didn’t realize how hard it would be, though. Things were a little awkward the first couple of days after I had admitted everything to him, but we soon settled back into our old routine. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how overwhelming my feelings would be, once I knew that he knew how I felt.
To put it mildly, it was Hell. Whoever said, “The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting next to them unable to hold them or kiss them,” knew exactly what they were talking about. What I didn’t realize was that he wasn’t being completely honest with me.
I began noticing some odd behavior. A lingering look into my eyes here, an accidental-on-purpose brush against my arm there. How gently he’d kiss my cheek every time we said good-bye. I’ll never forget one night, in early November. We’d both been so busy all week that we’d barely had time to see each other. I had gone straight home for the weekend instead of spending that Friday night helping Andrew stock chips. My mother was preparing to drive me back up Sunday evening to college, when Andrew called and asked where we were. We told him, and since his town was halfway between my home and my destination, he offered to meet us halfway, and if I helped him stock pizzas and chips at Wal*Mart, he’d drive me the rest of the way to Trenton. Well, my mother dropped me off with him, and we were goofing off after we’d finished stocking. We were in the sporting goods aisle, and I was staring in disinterest at turkey calls when he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, gave me a gentle squeeze and said that he’d missed me. Which resulted in an unbelievable explosion of butterflies, but it was nothing compared to half an hour later as we were preparing to leave.
We were pulling out of the parking lot, had stopped at a stop sign, and I was looking out the window for oncoming cars. I felt Andrew softly touch my cheek with one finger. I turned to look at him, and we gazed into each other’s eyes. “I missed you,” he whispered softly.
“I missed you too,” I whispered back. Then he leaned closer, and gently, oh so gently, we kissed , a kiss that gave me goosebumps and made my heart absolutely melt.
He continued to run his fingers through my hair as we drove out of town, and look at me with such a tender expression on his face that I just knew he had to care more than he was letting on. But it wasn’t until a few nights later, when he was driven to tears, that he finally confessed how he really felt.

Another young man had, for some odd reason, attached himself to me. I had never given him any reason at all to believe that we were more than friends, but one evening at work, right in front of Andrew, the guy told me that he was in love with me, and that upset Andrew greatly.
Andrew lived with his parents about 25 miles away from our college town, and he left for home right after Tim confessed his affections for me. Drew called me on his way and told me that if I wanted to date Tim then that was ok and he’d support me in whatever I decided. But he was crying. Something wasn’t right. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn’t tell me.
I finally got him to explain everything when he got home and we were talking on Windows messenger. I asked him what he wanted to do the next day, and he said he didn’t care. I asked him if he wanted to go to dinner and then go fishing for a while. He said he had to be home early for dinner, which didn’t make sense because he never had to be home early on Monday nights. So, I asked him why he had to be home for dinner early.
“Randi, there’s a reason I don’t want to do anything with you tomorrow. You want to date Tim and that would make things awkward between us.”
That was news to me. I never said I wanted to date Tim.  Chalk one up for Andrew assuming the worst. I made this clear to Andrew.
Then the truth came out: “Randi, I’m in love with you.”
This was followed by my jaw dropping, me fighting back tears of immense, unfathomable joy, and telling him with everything I had that I loved him too.

Unfortunately, this isn’t where the Happily-Ever-After comes in. See, before Andrew had met me, he’d already basically transferred to another college some 200 miles away, because being a few years older than me, he was already almost done with junior college and was ready for the real thing. And in January he did move.
We didn’t give up though. We only got to see each other a couple of times a month. And it was hard. Myspace, Facebook, Windows Messenger, late night phone calls, the occasional visit and unconditional love are what kept us together.

You may wonder what became of us. I’m happy to say that we’ve been together for two years. A year after Andrew moved to Missouri State, I was able to do the same.
Once again, we are able to do almost everything together. And I mean everything. Andrew really is an amazing man. A diamond in the rough. I’m not saying it’s all roses and rainbows and butterflies. Every couple has conflicts, and we have had some BIG ones. But each challenge we work through only brings us closer together and there’s a very good chance that within the next six months, we’ll be engaged.
Not long ago, I found a list in an old box of things at my parents’ home. It was a list I’d made at church camp years ago of everything I wanted in a man. As I read it, I realized that Andrew was everything on that list.
He has truly made me a better person. I used to be very introverted, shy, timid. I didn’t like being around people and kept to myself until I met My Drew. Now I’m outgoing, love meeting new people and making new friends, and I’m not terrified to take a chance and strike out on my own. Of course he still thinks he is my big protector and if any guy so much as looks at me weird, Andrew asks if he wants me to kick some butt, but that’s understandable lol. (I generally say ”No” to that question, by the way.)
Andrew is my other half. He is the best friend I’ve ever had, and the biggest crush I’ve ever had. He is my comfort when I’m afraid or sad. He is the one person who has always been there for me, no matter the cost or the consequences. He is the love of my life. He is…my knight in shining armor.

If I Could Write a Love Story

If saying forever is naive then I’ll stay naive for the rest of my life

If eternity is stupid, then I’ll be stupid forever

But if it’s for a while then I’ll make our time eternal

So it will never end

- Fabian Herrera

Crash! Right into a Powerade machine, That was the sound I made the first time I realized I loved her we were just kids in the eighth grade but still I knew I loved her ‘’kind of’’ . At the time we were just friends but I knew I wanted to be more than just friends my best friend who has the reasoning of a monkey said ’’go for it’’ I said ‘’yeah easier said than done’’. So I stayed quit never knowing that at the time of the crash she felt the same way. A month passed and I stayed quite never knowing but always wondering. Until she started to write the initials of the guy she liked. I Remember telling her he must be pretty stupid probably the dumbest in the world she would always say yeah he really is. Well One fateful day I woke up with the determination to find out who this mystery guy was. So in one of our classes I started to ask questions about the so called guy without asking distinguishing facts about me she answered all of my questions like if she didn’t know what I was doing. At this point I thought to myself its not me that’s when I showed her my bracelet and told her look these our my initials they mean Fabian Armando Herrera. That’s when I asked her what do yours mean she blushed and didn’t answer. Well the bell rang and I left the class with nothing but despair and a sense of emptiness in the pit of my stomach knowing that I would have to see her in my next class which at this point I felt it embarrassing to be in her presence. As I was walking I told myself I should at least figure out who beat me to the girl who I wanted for so long. I walked into class sat down and pondered about what the initials could mean I looked at my bracelet and then the initials for about five minutes into the class. That’s when the wires in my brain connected. “Its Me’’! “Its Me’’! I shouted as the teacher gave me detention for not shutting up, but I didn’t care I’ll never forget the smile she gave me. But it was to late school was about to end. Summer sucked all I could think about was her. My days were just filled with regret. Days passed my love for her grew. Then school came around I remember that for the first week all I was doing was looking for her. Telling myself please remember me. that’s when I found her I remember all I did was stare into her beautiful brown eyes not realizing she was doing the same and all we said was hi bye and that was it. I remember hitting my head in the Powerade machine all while countless people watched and asked ”is he OK”! as if I was mental at this point maybe I was but I felt like if her feelings for me were gone . Our next encounter was different I was determined to find out if she still liked or if there was hope. I knew I had to be discrete that’s when I blurted out do you still like me, talk about discrete. Anyway she answered no! I felt like my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. Then she told me something I would never forget she said’’ no I don’t like you I love you’’ At this point I screamed to the heavens forgetting that one of her friends was there and that we weren’t alone and how foolish I looked but I didn’t care. Funny thing is I didn’t ask her to be mine till a week later because I wanted it to be unforgettable and it was. September 22,2008 was and is the greatest day of my life. There was this field trip to go to UCLA and watch the football game on Saturday my plan was set. I would go and ask her as we were entering the stadium under the lights the problem was getting the permission slip only one teacher had one left. Man I’ll never forget all the extra homework I had to do to get this thing, But it was worth it. Finally Saturday came I sat right next to her on the bus. Out of this field trip I only remember two things the first was when she said yes the gleaming lights made her eyes sparkle like the full moon above our heads the way her face brightened truly unforgettable. The second thing I remember was our first kiss. It was midnight the busses got delayed and there was traffic going back home like there always is in LA. I kissed her on the forehead and was about to kiss her when she just kissed me it was the most magical kiss ever. People say we’re young and we can’t use the word love but let me tell you if we can’t use the word love who can . So we do know what love is. Funny thing is I said forever she agreed and we’re still working on Wow! if I could write a love story it would go like this.

- Fabian. A .Herrera

We talked for what seemed like all day, until my mother pulled me off of the computer in the middle of the night, but we exchanged emails and arranged to talk again the next day. So we did, everyday for the rest of the summer. We would talk for aslong as our differing time zones would allow. I would stay up all night one day, and he would stay up all night the next day. We shared everything, dreams, interests, troubles, I felt an extremely strong fondness for this person, yet I had never met him, I didnt even know what he looked like!

We returned to school but continued emailing every day and talking every weekend. I would jump out of bed half an hour early every morning just to email him and rush home from school at 3pm knowing there would be an email waiting for me in reply. I had butterfly’s in my stomach every time, egarly waiting to see what he had written and what new things I would learn about my american friend today. A few months had passed since we met and we decided to airmail eachother pictures as this was long before the days of digital camera’s. We exchanged addresses and wrote eachother a letter accompanied by some photographs. He recieved mine first, I was so nervous that he would think I was ugly and stop talking to me, I was small with bright red hair and pale skin, a combination that was nothing short of a curse in high school. A few weeks later I recieved his letter. My mum woke me up saying, “Gemma, theres a letter here from america for you”. I distinctly remember my heart nearly exploading and i’m sure I made it out of bed in record time. I opened the package and couldnt believe my eyes, he was gorgeous! not that it really even mattered, I had grown so fond of my new friend that nothing would have stopped me tlaking to him. I felt my heart melt when I saw his pictures, followed by a moment of sadness that the only boy in the world who truely appreciated me, was so far away.

I had never had a boyfriend, I had crushes on people in school but, I never had much interest in the opposite sex, unlike all my friends. I was too busy dancing or singing for that. One day however, I was at a friends sleepover and everybody was discussing there latest ‘crush’. I had breifly spoken about my electronic pen friend from the states before, but for the most part, I had kept him to myself. At that moment I realised I had an incredibly jittery feeling every time he entered my head, or maybe because he never left my head. I admitted to my friends that I couldnt stop thinking about him and met a mixed reaction from “ohhh thats so sweet” to “dream on, he’s in america, its not like you’ll ever meet”. Essentially they all thought I was a crazy little kid with my head in the clouds. Maybe I was, but I would dream every day of meeting my friend, that maybe somehow we would suprise everyone. He was special to me, and despite all the negative words, I wasnt willing to give up on that ‘what if’.

By the time we were nearly 16 we had drifted alittle, I was constantly going to dance classes and we were occupied with other ‘real life’ destractions, eventually we lost contact. I never stopped thinking about him, he would pop into my head and I would feel disspaointed in myself for not making more effort to email him and stay in touch, but we never forgot. So when I was 17, I randomly emailed ‘Sniper’ to see if he would reply. Sure enough a few days later I got a message back, and before we knew it we were talking online catching up and sharing all the new experiences we had with eachother. I felt like I was 13 all over again, and I remembered exactly why I loved this boy so much, and vowed I would never let him slip out of my life again, even if we were only ever destined to be life long internet companions.

We continued talking for the next 5 years, some weeks more than others. We helped eachother through breaks ups, family troubles, everything that we went through we shared with the other person, he knew everything about me. By the time I was 19 years old I had been with a couple of boyfriends, failed experiences. Everytime I talked to ‘Nick’ I felt a growing need to tell him how I really felt about him. I had always been to scared to tell him I thought he was gorgeous and that on some level I was sure, somehow, I loved him. Eventually, with alittle help from Nicks friend, we ended up admitting how we felt, I told him I loved him and he said the same back, it didnt change anything, we still couldnt be together, we were an ocean apart and neither of us had money to visit the other. But we knew how we felt and for the time being it was enough. Just to know I had him there and that he felt the same, settled me.

We continued with our lives, persued more doomed relationships, shared more experiences. Until at the beginning of 2008, I recieved some unexpected financial help. I wasnt sure what to do with the money, I decorated my bedroom, bought some new clothes, and just pondered my possibilities. Till one night when I was talking to Nick online, I told him I was coming to Texas, if he would have me. As soon as I said it I felt sick, nervous, worried, scared. I remember thinking, oh my goodness Gemma did you mean that! what are you going to do now? We had idley talked of meeting up before, even attempted arranging it but nothing had ever come through, so I am sure at that point neither me or Nick were truely convinced it would actually happen. Nick seemed reluctant to pick me up from the airport 3 hours from his home and I was petrified of flying alone. But something happened, something clicked, Nick decided he would make the drive to the airport and said “lets do this”. I nearly fell of my chair, but his confidence gave me confidence and I booked a flight, dragging my best friend Selina with me for the ride.

We had to visit during spring break, which was only 3 days away, so from the moment we booked our flight, there wasnt much oppertunity for everything to sink in. It wasnt untill I was on the plane to Houston, I remember turning to Selina and saying “Sel, im going to meet Nick!” and im sure thats the moment it hit me. I was hyperactive in the airport, fiddling with my hair, trying not to freak out so bad that I was carted off by security. It seemed to take an age to get through passport control and im sure the immigration officer thought I was on drugs because I was so excited. Consumed by nerves as I walked out of the airport with my luggage, I scanned round to look for Nick, praying to god that I would recognise him in person! Then there he was, strolling up to me in his white T and Corona cap. I totally froze, I didnt know what to say or do, hug? hand shake? smile? help!…..

I barely remember what words came out of my mouth, all that I could think about was, thats Nick, after nearly 10 years, your in Texas, and he is real. He was quiet for the ride home, talking to his 2 friends who joined him to pick us up. I think we were both alittle shocked to be honest, but it didnt take long, that night when everyone was asleep, we sat on his couch, talking, for the first time in person, having one of our ‘chats’, just like it was over the computer, but this time, it was all real. I wanted to hug him so tight but I couldnt, I didnt know if he wanted me to? did he like me like that? or was i a dissapointment? He was so gorgeous, he was better looking in person that in his pics (and he was gorgeous in his pics!)

We grew closer as the time passed, I was in Texas for 5 days and by the 4th night, I was devestated I had to leave, desperately trying not to think about having to go back to talking online, half a world away. I couldnt bare it, Nick would wake me up every time I started to fall asleep saying “dont fall asleep, we only have a few more hours”. I could barely breathe on the drive to the airport, I couldn’t speak, I just sat quitely, sleeping here and there when I could. I had never wanted to cry so much in my life. I sucked in as much air as I could before saying goodbye, just praying that I could hold my tears long enough to get through the doors of the airport. I had the most amazing 5 days of my life, yet my heart was breaking. How was I ment to carry on at home now? just forget? pretend I dont love him?

The plane ride home was the worst, every second I knew I was further away, never knowing when I would get to see Nick again. I was home, and the only good thing about that was seeing my dog. As soon as I got back after my 17 hour journey, I put my computer on and checked my emails desperate to see the name Nick Cantu in my inbox.

“I’m back to my normal little life, although it will never be the same this time round. Thankyou for the years of unconditional love and loyalty, thankyou for an amazing few days sweetheart. Just plain thankyou for everything (maybe I do have a reason to carry on with my life much more enthusiasticlly now, an oh! what a spledid reason it is!)”

I read that, and I broke down. How cruel life seemed to be to put such a vast space between us. I had to find a way to overcome it. So I went back, back to Texas, back to Nick. I couldnt let that be it. We agreed to get engaged, and to be together no matter what, no matter how much effort or hard work it would be, we would find a way, because its what we wanted, because I loved him.

Since that time, Nick has visited my home in London, met my family and I have spent more time in Texas. We planned to marry in November, but after spending 6 weeks in London with me, Nick and I faced 3 months apart before our wedding. I had to work to help pay for venues and visa’s, and Nick had to spend time with his family. We decided in the face of seperation, to bring our wedding forward. I would go back to Texas with Nick, and we would get married. Nick’s family helped us plan an intimate ceremony and reception within the space of a week, and it was perfect. Fancy venues, flowers, dresses, cakes, no longer mattered. We just wanted to be together, to never have to say goodbye again.

We married at sunset on the 14th of June 2008.

It was Saturday morning when I decided to end my relationship with this man. I don’t know how to say it or what to do to make it easier for him to accept everything but as the song goes by “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart” that’s why I just tell him the truth. I don’t love him anymore, I don’t know but I just fell out of love. Maybe because he’s always there for me… sounds funny isn’t it? Well he’s always been there for me, wherever I go, he’s there, in every occasion, he’s there, in my work, in school, anywhere, as if I don’t have my freedom. I don’t have my own time, time for myself to choose where I want to go or to be with my friends. Just like that…I felt that I need to have a space for myself…I got irritated whenever he call asking me if I already eat or where will I go. That’s why one day I decided not to answer his calls. I did not tell him my plans for the day. I went to the mall alone, bought something for my self, I even watch movie alone, eat my favorite foods and I feel so very free.When I got home, he’s there waiting for me. My mom told me he’s been waiting for almost four hours. He then asked me where I’ve been, why did I left without even telling him, who’s with me, those stupid questions. I just said, I go out all by my self and I don’t have to tell him everything. What’s wrong with me, he asked. Nothing I said. I just want to be alone. Could you give some time to be with my self? Give me some space!
           

After that night, I talked to my friend whom I recently met just before I got bored with my man. He’s more matured and manly than him and we talked every night after I finished working. He always makes me laugh and I really like his sense of humor. We just talked using a two way radio and then one night he went to my place to finally meet him. We became good friends I guess after we met.Before this, I told my boy that I met a friend and we always talked. He’s a jealous type of a man but I made him understand that he’s just a friend of mine.In spite of asking him to give me some space, he still did the same thing. He still visited me in my work, he still call me, went to my place as if nothing happens. And because he did not give me time to think, I finally decided to end our relationship. Well I don’t love him anymore; I mean how can I love a man who doesn’t want to give my own freedom? What will you do if you’re in my shoes? I left him and I accidentally fell in love with the man who’s now the father of my two daughters.The last news I’ve heard from him is he went abroad and worked there.And so I told my friend who’s on the phone to just let go and give his self a little time to think. Letting go of someone you love is really hard but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder. It doesn’t mean that you are weak when you give up, it only shows that you are strong enough to let go to start a new beginning.Because I’m too sleepy that night, I even did not notice that my friend who called is the man I once left before.

8 years ago, My Age Being 13, when I was working in a store in a  shopping Mall, There came a guy who worked in one of our chain of stores in the same company I worked, and he had such a personality, so polite, being so small in age (14) and getting respected from everyone elder to him, which the character of his attracted me, that day onwards, I wanted to see what he does for being so respected and everyday I used to wait in the exit of the mall after my duty hours just to draw his attention towards me and try and talk to him, he was such a guy who don’t look around and waste his time unnecessarily. So it was very difficult to talk to him since he was also a  very busy guy.

After almost two years I received a letter from my company which read as a Transfer to another store.

When I joined the store for my Luck and Fate,I see the guy who I wanted to look and talk to throughout my life, working in the store as Stocks In-charge.

There was turning point of my life where I got the chance of speaking to him after almost 2 years of just seeing and waiting for him.

Later after a month getting introduced to him and we got together very nicely and  everyday I had working hours similar to his as 8 Hours a day I get to See and talk to him (how Lucky I was) .

Later once we started talking nicely he used to take me out to some nice places in Bahrain and share all his happy and sad moments of his school and personal life. Everyday almost we talk for 6 hours apart from our duty timings thats 8 hours that close we became which I had wished 2 Years ago.

I was strong enough just to tell him that I used to love him long time ago and wanted this such moment. I told him that I used to wait outside the mall just to see and talk to him almost 2 years and he smiled and couldnot beleive this all.

We talked that day on the phone more than 7 hours , was so amazing no story such as this one, and we met the day after that, and we are in love now with each other and we are planning to be engaged soon.

This is my story and I just feel so happy sharing it with everyone.

Yours,

Zakiya and Peer Mohamed (Peero)