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So close but yet so Far Away

Suprena — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 05:01:14 +0000

Hello, I know many out there have heard plenty of love stories. As well as I believe each and every love story is unique in its own way, as magical as it can be, and the most wonderful to each and every soul out there. We come to you to give you our love story in hopes that we can ask for help getting back to one another. Our love story begins almost 3 years ago. To begin, let me introduce myself. My name is Suprena and I am a stranger to most. My heart and soul next to me in the photo is Hugh. We fell in love just by talking and knowing each other as much as possible. When we met we weren’t looking for love. I never thought I would meet the one in the way that I did. We both played a video game called Final Fantasy XI. Now I know most of you probably wouldn’t ever think of meeting someone like that, but we did. I was minding my own business and had just spoken to another friend about getting a weapon for myself on a little character in a fantasy world and up pops a personal message. From that day forward I have not and could not see my life any other way but with Hugh in it. He tells me, “what weapon is it that you need”? I didn’t know who he was. We began talking back and forth everyday after that. Helping each other in a video game. Days passed, weeks, months and yet we still talked. Then one day we tell each other that we started having feelings for one another. Was this crazy? Telling someone I love them over personal chat inside of a video game. But the way I felt, I didn’t care. I loved him. Everyday I loved him more and more. He had become my best friend, and I his best friend. Then he asked me to marry him in a video game. Again, was this crazy. Well, it was my life I thought, and I didn’t care if people thought that I was crazy. I loved him, my love grew stronger and stronger. His love so wonderful. I found myself running home everyday to spend every waking and un-working moment with him. He never shut his phone off from chatting on MSN. We were never apart. Then it came. “Can I call you”? Wow, I thought. I’m going to hear his real voice. But yet I was so scared at the same time. After the first time we spoke for over 2 hours if recollection serves me correctly. We didn’t miss a beat to speak, chat, text, or play our game together. He has seen me through my roughest times, and I through his. I was so happy but yet so sad. Things got to be more and more serious.
We wrote letters back and forth, messages, emails, chat, text, phone calls, you name it. We had talked many many times about meeting in real life. But one thing stood in our way. I was from the United States and he from Scotland. We wanted so badly to meet. We would talk about it and something would happen. I wasn’t going to give up, neither was he. After 2 years of being in a long distance relationship, we finally got a chance. Fate was going to do what fate set out to do all along. I called him up and told him, “I got my passport”! It was then I could finally book the flight. I was leaving March 30, 2010 to go meet the person I loved for so long. He could hardly contain his own self with excitement. We had waited so long to finally meet. There I was own my way to Dallas, Texas to catch my flight. I was on the plane, I hadn’t slept from being so scared and so excited at the same time. I was to fly into London from London on to Edinburgh, Scotland and then into his arms. I arrived in London… I get to customs and I hear to please have seat over on the bench. I didn’t know what was going on. The immigration officer came over to me and said they were detaining me. I had asked for what. I didn’t have monies on hand to prove I could accommodate myself for 3 months that I would be there. I told him I had my international bank card. I didn’t bring money in fear I would be mugged and didn’t want to travel with cash on hand. After 6 hours of interrogation and interviewing Hugh over the phone and me in a little tiny room, Hugh called me on the phone letting me know they were going to let me through. I cried and if I didn’t know any better I think he did to. Although I don’t think he would have told me so. We just knew they were going to deport me back to the States after being on a flight and in route travel for 22 hours. He stamped my passport with a 6 month visa and gave me pass into the United Kingdom. I ran as fast as I could to reschedule my flight to Edinburgh. Sitting and waiting again to catch another flight. My mind racing once again. My flight was boarding, I would be in Edinburgh in about an hour where he would be waiting for me. I walked onto the plane and took my seat. The plane takes off and here I go. Over 24 hours later I finally get to be in his arms. After everything he and I had been through for over 2 years, all of that will disappear as soon as I put my arms around him and his around me. We touch down in Edinburgh and I walk off my plane. Nervous I approached luggage pick up and grabbed 1 of my suitcases. The other detoured because of delay of flight. I walk out and scan the area. I didn’t see him. Where could he be. Famished, exhausted, mentally and physically overtaken by travel and jet lag, I walked scanning. I stopped, I could feel him behind me. Do I dare turn around. Finally I get the courage to turn and sure enough he was standing behind me. He hadn’t noticed me yet. I stopped like a deer caught in headlights. He sees me, I gasp and take one step back. Is it him. Its him! He walks up to me and puts his arms around me and mine instantly go around him. We lock and hold each other what seemed like forever as I burst into tears crying on his shoulders the world disappeared. He kissed me on my head and whispered, I love you. I love you too, I said. I knew I was okay now. I knew 2 years was worth everything that he and I had been through because we were finally in each others arms.
I had planned to stay for 3 months, but that just wasn’t enough. I canceled my flight and stayed for the entire 6 month visa. We had a wonderful and magical 6 months full of laughter, fun, love, sunsets, passion, outings, and trips. He proposed to me one early morning. He was meant to take me to watch the sunrise under a tree down a path we enjoyed walking, but of course if you know Scotland. Scotland is famous for its rain. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We sat below a tree with the trickling of the rain talking to one another. Finally we were both frozen to the bone and tired so I asked if he was ready to go. We had our shoes hung up in the tree so they wouldn’t fill with water and I reached up and grabbed mine as he was still sitting down. I slipped on my shoes, and turned to look at the view. No matter what weather there is in Scotland, it always amazing to look at. When I turned to see if he was ready he was kneeling on his knee and pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket. He asked. Would I be his wife. I fell to my knees and grabbed him, holding him close to me. “Yes”! I said. I couldn’t see my life without him. After our embrace we stood and walked home hand in hand, both smiling the whole way home. That next 3 months we absorbed one another all that we could. We were never apart and every second we found more and more love to give to the other just when we thought it wasn’t possible to love one another any more than we already did. The time passed by so fast, I couldn’t believe how quickly it was coming to an end that I had to return back to the United States. My new flight was set to leave September 29, 2010. We would try and joke about me forgetting my flight, or he was going to cancel it. His family would kiddnap me and hide me out so I couldn’t leave. Of course they were only joking. But no matter how silly each idea sounded, I think if I knew I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble for staying over my visa, I may have just stayed. In fact I know I probably would have. The day came that I had to return home. We just couldn’t find anything to make us smile. We both cried. We embraced one another for as long as we could before my flight would leave me behind. He stood watching me walk down the path to go through customs and I turned and waved one last time with tears pouring down my face. I’ve never had to do something so hard in my entire life as to leave the man I love behind, not knowing when the next time would be that I would get to see him. He walked away to go sit outside and cry himself. I felt so lost, so empty. My entire flight I cried and cried. I kept wishing something would come up and my plane would have to turn back. But before I knew it was standing back in America with a broken heart. I called him when I arrived in Newark, NJ. I needed so badly to hear his voice. To know everything was going to be okay. Maybe someone would tell us this is all a nightmare. The most happiest time we’ve ever spent was in that 6 months and now once again we are apart.
So, this is where we come to the people out there in the world. We want so much to be back together. There is so much paper work and so much to do, and so costly. We ask the people of the world to help us with donations so that we can do this. We can hardly bare each day without one another. For all those that know love, have felt love, see love, experience love, and have fought for love. Then you know the battle. We will not give up our battle what so ever for this. We will continue to fight each and every day until we are back in each others arms. But with your help we can do this faster. We have to have so many things for us to be properly together and married. Our K-1 visa to be exact, a lawyer is very costly. We’ve opted to do the paper work ourselves, but yet its still costly to do just that. So, this is where we ask the world to come in. Of course everyone knows money doesn’t grow on trees, and the probability of winning the lottery, well we know the odds of that. So please, anything that anyone can do to help us, we ask you the people of the world to seal our love and help us get back together again. We both would be more grateful for anything to help us than any one on the face of this earth. Hugh and I have fought almost 3 years now to be together, help us end that struggle. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. All donations can be mailed to P.O. Box #5354 Longview, Texas 75608 or by clicking the donation button at the bottom. Again, thank you so much for your help and if you can’t we still thank you for taking the time to read our story and maybe our story will give someone hope out there. Never give up on love, faith, or hope…because it lives deep in each one of us no matter where you are in the world. Love doesn’t know the definition of distance, only the heart can feel the pain.

Till I Die, I Will Love Her

raghu — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 17:37:48 +0000

Hi,

I would like to submit my story,now i am 32yrs old,it all started in the year 1999 when i started working,i had troubled childhood fought everything to find a job,i had friend who invited me for a picnic on a weekend with her friends,that is when i saw her the firsttime,the moment i saw her my heart started beating fast,she was introduced to me did not talk much that day but while returning back she came with me in the bike so we started talk casually she was 1 year younger to me,from the next day onwards i started meeting her regurarly whenever possible,after a month she proposed to me,i did say no even though i loved her because i was not rich not educated earning very small money where she was from a rich familya i was living alone at a construction building did not even have a proper place to stay,i told her everything about me.But she did not leave me kept on telling me that she loves me.finally i said yes,i loved her very much as she was the only one for me in this world,i used to work 16 hours a day to earn some extra money so that i could afford to spend on her.She completed her studies for 3 years we were together she was god to me i worshipped her.But suddenly she started avoiding me,i used to wait for her but she never used to turn up nor answer my phone call
I met one of her friend & asked her she told me that she was going around with another guy whom she had met recently.Finally one day i met her asked her why she was avoiding me
she told me that she was not interested in me anymore she is getting married to the other guy as he is rich,owns a car,own house & give all luxury she wants in life which i cannot give her.I did not know what to do after hearing this i fell on her feet begged her not to leave me as i have no one except her in this world.But one word she said to me ****** broke me,I promised her will never show ugly face to her.From then on my life has become a hell.I came to know she got married to other guy.Its been 7years now since i have seen her i dont blame her as she was right i couldnt have given her a luxurious life even if i worked for 24 hrs.
TILL I DIE I WILL LOVE HER

SARAH AND GERARD : A LOVE STORY

gerardmar — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 11:57:36 +0000

SARAH AND GERARD 1

2nd March 2004-10th October 2010.2

R.I.P3

Chapter 0ne: Gerard and Sarah meet online 4

Sarah and Gerard met on an internet site on 2nd March 2004, a site called Findsomeone and after reading her profile Gerard decided to message Sarah and very soon after that first contact they exchanged phone numbers and were spending long hours on the phone just talking about nothing and everything . 5

Gerard really enjoyed talking to Sarah, she seemed so sweet and genuine. One evening while talking on the telephone Sarah must an astonishing statement telling him that “ he was the one “ and that they would be together forever. Gerard was overwhelmed by the way Sarah talked to him but at the same a little uncertain about the situation thinking that it all seem a little bit too sudden and and He was a firm believer that when something was too good to be true it usually was. Sarah asked him when He would be travelling to the Gold Coast as she couldn’t wait to meet him. He was excited and thought this internet dating site was fun, Sarah seemed like a nice girl and He had nothing to loose by meeting her. She had sent her photo and He liked what I saw. Sarah was a very attractive woman.6

They planned to meet on the 18th March 2004 but He changed his mind made up an excuse about an infection to his elbow, an infection He really had a few months earlier. They talked on the phone every single day and also chatted on line and their conversations were getting steamy. He thought not only was he going to meet a beautiful woman but a great weekend of sex was coming up his way.7

CHAPTER 2 : THEIR FIRST WEEKEND TOGETHER8

Sarah picked Him up from the Airport on that infamous 1st of April and that it should have been a sign that they were meeting on April fools day. He remembers seeing her for the first time standing tall and rather nervous. He wasn’t disappointed as she seemed even more beautiful as He had imagined. It was definitely love at first sight.9

They hugged and kissed and she drove him to the hotel He had booked for the next 3 nights : The Versace in Main Beach.10

Within a few minutes of arriving at the hotel they were already making passionate love and had an amazing romantic night. To this day Gerard had never met such a beautiful person, so kind, so gentle and loving, a real lady who was only willing to please him and make him happy. When she drove him back to the Gold Coast airport 3 days later He was sad to leave but at the same time happy to have met such nice lady.11

CHAPTER THREE: FALLING IN LOVE12

They saw each other every weekend after that and talked on the phone every day and every night and they were finding out more of each other. A few aspects of her life seemed a little unusual but he wasn’t going to over analyse the situation. The fact that she had a son and a daughter and that her children lived with their father seemed a bit odd to him as he was in the opposite situation and had custody of his children since separation from his first wife. He never questioned it because in an earlier conversation online when they were finding out more about each other Gerard had assumed that her children were with her, she simply told him that her children didn’t live with her and that there was nothing sinister about it.13

He also found out she was sharing a house with 2 male friends which didn’t really please him but the fact she would never offer to show him where he lived bothered him a little bit but he tried not to worry too much about it.14

In early June 2004 Sarah made the first of a series of stunning statements, she asked her employer for a transfer to Sydney so that they could be together. Sarah told him that we were going to be together for the rest of our life we may as well live together. He was a little uncomfortable with the idea as it seemed too soon but he had already fallen for her and told her that it was a great idea.15

The more he thought about it the more unsure he felt because cracks started to appear in their relationship, while on the Gold Coast one weekend and after sleeping on the floor after a small disagreement with Sarah he told her that she wasn’t giving him what he needed emotionally but he loved her with all his heart and he also believed that she loved him. She assured him that she was sorry and that she would change, Gerard didn’t want Sarah to change, he simply wanted her to open up to him and not be afraid to show her feelings. In Mid July 2004 He flew to the Gold Coast so that Sarah and him would drive to Sydney in her car and start their life as a couple in Sydney. A few days before leaving he found out that her car needed major repairs that had to be carried out before driving to Sydney but that Sarah couldn’t afford to pay so he offered to pay to get her car fixed. 16

She finally asked him to stay over her place on the last night before moving out. Sarah also came out with another stunning revelation the day before driving to Sydney .17

So Sarah moved out of her place , her car packed with all of her personal belongings but no furniture as she sold him all of her furniture which he gave to his eldest son who lived on the Gold Coast as well. Sarah and Gerard were taking a walk when she told me that she had Herpes .Gerard was a little shocked but was trying not to show his emotions but it was a admission she should have made much earlier and certainly before they became lovers. He thought anyone with genital herpes should inform any new prospective lover before becoming intimate. He loved her, she had moved out of her apartment , she had left her job and sold her furniture but had choice but to tell her not to worry about it but also thought that Sarah should have been more honest about the situation.18

CHAPTER FOUR: SYDNEY19

During that 10 hours drive he didn’t think it would have been possible to have so many arguments with one person, every aspect of his driving was criticised and he was already questioning whether or not he had just made a huge mistake. 20

Gerard and Sarah lived in a comfortable high rise apartment with two of his children in Artarmon. The apartment was less than a kilometre from her work. They lived in that apartment for the next 3 years and he did everything he could to make her feel comfortable. Her financial contribution was non existent as she didn’t have to pay any rent, didn’t contribute for food nor any bills. He also included her in his Health insurance plan so that she could eventually get some dental treatment she needed and an surgical operation that she would have eventually in June 2006 in a private hospital in St Leonards.21

During those 3 years he took her too various holiday destinations twice in Hong Kong , once in Phukett, New Caledonia, as well as Adelaide, Tasmania, Hamilton island, Cairns and Hervey Bay. 22

In Sydney he took her to concerts, major sporting event various shows. He bought her many gifts, jewellery, flowers like any man would do for the woman he loved.23

Perhaps he may have been excessive when doing certain things, He knew she loved flowers and he had sent her oriental lilies previously when they lived on the Gold Coast, he would normally send her 3 dozens each time, not sure exactly why so many perhaps to express his love but she explained to me not to send her that many he wondered if he would ever please her. 24

He also cooked for her every single day except of course when I took her out to dinner. He would always try to cook something she enjoyed because he just wanted everything to be perfect for her.25

He also paid for someone to come and clean the house once a week to make her life that little bit easier.26

At various time she commented that they weren’t a real couple because they didn’t have a joined bank account. He didn’t see the need for a joined bank account as he paid for everything anyway as she never offered to contribute. The only expenses that he was aware of were cigarettes, and paying for the airfare for her daughter to visit them every few weeks.27

Their life together was never easy but he could understand that she missed the Gold Coast so he was trying to be as understanding as possible. They had various arguments and threatened to leave many times but actually never left. 28

Gerard admitted that he probably was not an easy person to live with as she told him many that he was grumpy and moody at times which he admitted but sometimes Sarah would make some extraordinary statements that would really hurt him and change his mood.29

Sarah had only been in Sydney a few weeks and on a Saturday night we both seemed a little bored so he suggested they’d go out and have a few drinks and maybe dance a little, her reply was simply No, so he asked why not, Sarah answered “ because I don’t want to “ . He then said : “ but Sarah you love dancing” She then replied if we go dancing, many guys will ask me to dance, you’ll get jealous and get into a fight. 30

The first time Gerard actually danced with Sarah was at a Bunnings function, they only danced for a short time but she commented how he had no rythm, He became so paranoid about her comments that he took some private lessons and he has always been uncomfortable to dance with Sarah ever since. Gerard may not be a good dancer but he enjoys dancing and it is something he would have liked to do on a regular basis but somehow Sarah felt uncomfortable to dance with him because he couldn’t dance. He confronted her about it and she told him that she was just been honest. 31

Sarah was telling him on a daily basis that she loved him but he admitted he didn’t always feel it. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. Saying you “love” someone so much easier than really loving them. Should Sarah have claimed that she loved him when she hurts him consistently with her actions . In his book it would not be considered love. 32

Love is something you are sure about there is no doubt. It’s a strong feeling you can’t explain, But you know – because you can feel it. Everyone can show love, but can they feel love. He was just a romantic fool.33

Love is a mindset that commits one person to engage into actions that include sacrifice, respect and compromise for the purpose of benefiting the person being loved. They are carried out with respect to the other person. Without respect, there’s no love. At various times he felt that Sarah didn’t even like me let alone love me.34

He had to be so careful as had to be very quiet in the morning. He always woke up happynd if he sang he was told to shut up or to be quiet and if other people were around and he was telling jokes she would make unpleasant remarks such as “ you are not funny, cant you see people are not laughing with you they laughing at you “then very often his mood would change and would become a little sad . Gerard understood that Sarah was not a morning person so he wasn’t allowed to touch her, kiss her or hold her in any way in the morning, as a matter of fact during their seven years together not once in the morning she would stay in bed to hug and kiss . Her actions were not of someone who loved him.35

Love is the feeling deep inside that tells you when you are apart that you desperately want to be back with your loved one. It is the feeling of wanting to be as one, together! One of the most important things is that Sarah and Gerard should have been each other “best friends” He always considered her before anyone else. She was his “world”, his “rock” and he always loved her unconditionally 100% of the time even when he didnt like her. Gerard wanted to tell the world that he loved Sarah and he wanted to grow old with this beautiful person. That’s what he wanted but he didn’t feel happy and thought it was because his love wasn’t returned.36

In his book the only way you know someone loves you is by how much sacrifices they will put up to make you happy. Being unselfish, caring about you more than herself. It goes both ways though. If everyone thought of what would make their lover’s happy instead of what makes them happy, they’ll be a overflow of love. Love is sacrifices.37

He believes and feel if Sarah loved him she wouldn’t have done anything not to hurt him. And knowing we all are imperfect he felt that if a problem was acknowledged then they should have come together with unconditional love and worked it out. They should have appreciated each other for their worth and help each other when they were in the need of one another. 38

Finally he didn’t feel that she loved him because he couldn’t see it in her eyes, in body language and in her attention to him. She would tell him the love he wanted only exist in movies and is not real.39

Their sex life never reached the heights of our first weekend together at the Versace, Actually it became very regimented ,her favourite answer was a simple “NO” If he was feeling romantic He d say Darling lets go to bed together? She would almost always say No. He actually remembered once while holidaying in Tasmania, they were in Hobart and after a nice dinner he suggested that they’d go back to their room , Sarah replied that she wanted to play the pokies, so he replied we can play the pokies anytime, so again she replied NO I am playing the pokies so he went up to the room alone as she played the pokies the next 2 hours.40

Her constant rejection started to bother him as it happened more frequently. Sometimes he would get so upset that he would leave the house and go for a drive. When he tried to discuss it he would be told not make a big deal and to build a bridge and get over it, one of her favourite expression.41

There was never any spontaneity about their sex life and he soon realised that the only times she was willing to make love is when she would tell me “Can I have a massage tonight? “ . She actually made a stunning statement many times that she wouldn’t care if she never had sex again. She is not frigid and has no problems reaching an orgasm but at times he felt so paranoid about her constant rejection that he actually wondered if there was a problem with him. 42

Sarah and Gerard had many fights, perhaps too many fights but after a fight they always reconciled. Engaging in a sexual reconciliation after a long, gut-wrenching argument makes the entire acrimonious experience worthwhile unfortunately he never experienced “make up sex” with Sarah; Believing that pleasure and pain are inherently connected and when in pain, the endorphins are released not only to minimize pain, but also to create a sense of power and control to survive the situation. Adrenaline and dopamine levels — associated with desire — rise in the heat of the fight and serve as a substitute for foreplay, creating the perfect storm for hot sex that he wanted to experience with Sarah but never did. 43

Gerard admitted that he always picked on Sarah for smoking for a long time which on face value is very unfair considering that his previous wife smoked. In a matter of fact it never worried him Sarah told him when they first met that when she’ll know that they will be together forever she will give up and she would start to cut it down immediately and he thought that it was such a nice gesture that anyone would give up their habit to demonstrate their love for someone. It made him feel so special.44

Gerard was actually led to believe that she had given up smoking for 3 years until one day during an argument Sarah told him that she actually never gave up but just pretended to make him happy. He thought that it was ridiculous to go to that extent and told her but she replied that he was trying to change her. It couldn’t be further from the truth, its not the smoking that bothered him it’s the broken promise, and more importantly it the lie, her demonstration of love by giving up your habit that he had found so touching was just another fake. Why lie for so long about something so petty, a lie is a lie no matter and it amount to deception. He wondered if Sarah lied about her smoking and carried on lying for so long could it be that she could lie about other things? 45

CHAPTER FIVE : THE GOLDIE46

In May 2007 they made plans to move to the Gold Coast and actually moved in July 2007, After staying a few days at his parents Gerard and Sarah quickly found a brand new 3 bedroom townhouse and Sarah agree that she would contribute to half of the rent as her daughter was moving in with them and that he would have additional expenses as he had to commute to Sydney 3 days a week every week but he would continue to pay for all other expenses. She had also told him that she would always take him and pick him from the airport which never happened.47

If his life with Sarah was bad in Sydney it was going to get much worse as they started to fall further and further apart. He was away in Sydney 3 days a week, Sarah’s lifestyle had changed a lot, gone was the cleaner, she was also being a mum again as her daughter lived with them so she had to start cooking and cleaning as well as working full time and of course for the first time she had to contribute by paying half the rent. 48

Gerard chose to ignore all the cracks appearing in their relationship and they bought a 3 bedroom townhouse, he came up with enough money for a deposit, stamp duty and associated expenses and she agree that she would pay half of the mortgage repayments and I continued paying for everything else although that last couple of months he stopped the weekly food shopping and would only buy what he would deemed necessary as the majority and fruits and vegetables would just end up in the bin a few days later. He continued to buy her gifts and took her to 3 more overseas holidays and had another planned in February 2011 and a trip to Vegas to get married in August next year.49

CHAPTER SIX: A SAD ENDING TO A SAD RELATIONSHIP50

Sarah was working hard trying to get that promotion she was promised and finally in August 2011 she became the administration manager, so to keep up with a new status she bought a brand new car on Finance and after 10 years she finally got the job she wanted. 51

Sarah became more arrogant at home, less interested in home duties as she spent more and more time at work and became more and more distant at home and on the 9th October 2010 after another petty argument Gerard told Sarah that we couldn’t live together anymore and that they should end their relationship now. 52

The next day he regretted having done what I did and I talked to Sarah about it but she made it abundantly cleared that she wasn’t interested as she wasn’t in love with him anymore, she didn’t love him anymore and that she had no feelings whatsoever for him anymore. He was deeply hurt but couldn’t understand why as it was what he had wanted for a long time. So he kept trying to win her back for the next few days until he realised that it was really finally over.53

He also realised that it was the best thing that could have happened to him as he had been only a stepping stone for Sarah. She is now a much more marketable commodity, after all she is now an administration manager with a brand new car and was about to lease a brand new apartment.54

Sarah asked for a financial compensation so that she could simply walk out, not worrying of the financial mess she would leave him in and within 2 days she found a brand new townhouse to lease, got a payout from him, a payout she did not fully deserve as there is very little equity in the family home as properties values have declined the last few years but she proved again that she is a very selfish woman and strangely enough all the people around her think she has been hard done by but Gerard will give Sarah the opportunity to come clean and apologise but if you are reading this now it means that she didn’t and that she had no remorse then Gerard will want his story told about this evil woman who sold her soul. 55

On Friday 22nd October 2010 Gerard had decided to give Sarah one last chance to show him that she had some decency left in her and that she would finally say the 3 words he wanted her to say and mean “I am sorry” Here are those notes:56

GOODBYE SARAH57

I will probably not say everything I think but I will definitely think everything I say 58

We all want to be on top of the mountain forgetting that it is how we climb that matters59

A new job doesn’t make anyone a better person.60

We only have the right to look down on someone when we help that person to get up61

We should never forget the person we were yesterday62

You must always tell what you feel and do what you think63

Then everyone will know you are64

Tomorrow is another day and we are all given an opportunity to make things good65

It’s never too late to say you’re sorry66

Take time to Say : I’m sorry, forgive me, please, thank you and all the nice words you know67

Noone is going to remember you if you keep your thought secrets, force yourself to express them68

Goodbye Sarah, goodbye my lover69

You were the one , you were the one for me70

I wanted to spend my whole life with you71

I was sharing your bed but I wanted you to share my dreams72

It should never have ended like this73

You broke my heart, you shattered my dreams74

I forgive you Sarah but your honesty is a must75

and you must always be true to yourself.76

So next time when you meet someone special77

If you both want to be happy78

All you must do is love each other79

It is a simple and as difficult as that.80

No lies No games then81

No one gets hurt.82

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNT SARAH83

I’ve learned that no matter how much I cared, you just wouldn’t care back84

I’ve learned that I could not make you love me. All I could do is be there to be loved. The rest was up to you.85

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.86

I’ve learned that even when I thought I had nothing left to give, I should never have given up on you.87

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.88

I’ve learned that sometimes when we’re angry we have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me us right to be cruel to each other.89

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do love each other. I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease my emotional pains. 90

I’ve learned that I can love even if I don’t feel loved. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t have been so eager to find out a secret. it changed my life forever. 91

I’ve learned that I should have to put you ahead of your actions.92

I’ve learned that it won’t be enough that I forgive you if you don’t believe you have nothing to be forgiven for.93

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. 94

I’ve learned that’s only when I gave up that I lost the battle.95

I’ve learned that I can’t stop loving you even when I know that you don’t love me.96

short story between Abdirizac and her

Abdirizac Abdi Ali — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:12:32 +0000

my name is abdirzac.. i was crzy about using internet then i met a lady from Europe while i am in africa.. she told me everythin about her and i did the same
she used to call me in every night and i call her sometimes.. then we loved each other after long time she told me that her famliy want to give her another dude who from her relative.. when she told me that bad thing. i said to her everything in on ur hand i tell her everyday tel ur family that we love each other she is scared.. now she is a wife with another man and she cheated me.
i decided not to make a love again…..
aint beleive in love anymore now…

Four years later..

rar44 — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:58:06 +0000

‘Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.’ Something so profound is often tried to be explained with words. It runs through books, songs, films, any sort of fictional entity has love as the main theme. The characters find their happily ever afters, warming the hearts of the audience a thousand times over. But what about the not so happy ever afters? What about the heartbreak which isn’t made better by the hero getting there in the knick of time? The fiction tells lies, hence ‘fiction.’
          My attempted happily ever after involves the most important guy in my life, Shaun. Our ‘relationship’ was not conventional, nor was it normal or accepted. You see I have never met him. It was the 22nd of September 2006 when we first started talking on Myspace I was 14. Shaun’s Irish and he lives in Dublin, I live in England and he’s two years older than me. We hardly talk now after 4 years, but he changed my world. The beginning is probably the best place to start. We started with general small talk, we spoke most days. The days then led to weeks and months, we were speaking for a few hours every day. I started to realise I had feelings for him in a strange way and vice versa. He gave me a sense of security and he made me laugh from the start. He was perfect and although it was through the computer it felt so real. I never spoke to him on the phone or on webcam but it didn’t make it feel any less real. We had personal jokes and a similar sense of humour. He told me I was beautiful and after months he said he loved me. I’d never had that before, and you wouldn’t understand it unless you’ve experienced it. We spoke about what we’d do, where we’d go and how he’d be with me. The way he made me feel was more real than anything I’ve ever experienced, question it if you will. How I felt and how I still feel, makes me sure that however impossible it is, it was love. It lasted on and off for 4 years, there were some issues’ surrounding us, another girl who I knew became involved and was interested in him. She tried to end whatever it was we had by manipulation and lies. Funny really, that we fought over a guy neither of us had met.
        It was some sort of vicious circle; the more I spoke to him the more I wanted him. He was meant to visit me in the summer of 2007, but I realised in the months leading up to it that our relationship was idiotic and it ended. It didn’t last long until we started speaking again; he was there when nobody else was. The love and knowledge that somebody actually cared about me was what kept me going back to him. One night we stayed up talking until 2 AM arguing we loved each other more, then we wrote ‘the reasons’ a list of a 100 reasons why we loved each other. It’s embarrassing really, that’s why I didn’t disclose any details about him. Shaun went through a really hard time; his parents were never stable, his dad had an affair years before. Then sadly his dad died in July 2008, I never felt so helpless. I was in Greece when I found out; I couldn’t be there for him, for what he was going through. Not even speaking to him online. I wanted to be with him so much and comfort him, to try and help him through it but I couldn’t and he became distant. He was going to a university about half an hour away from me that September, the night he had a going away party his mum was in a car accident. She was very ill through September and he knew he couldn’t leave her. So he couldn’t go to university, I was devastated but understood.
             After my Grandma died in November 2008 he was my comfort, a release and my rock. For someone to be able to cheer you up even when they’re not even with you indicated the bond we had. It was only a short amount of time again, we weren’t as close as before and I felt he didn’t love me anymore. I could sense it; it felt like there wasn’t enough to keep us together, to keep us talking. We both went out more, did other things. Got bored of msn, got bored of the routine we had. We still spoke every so often at least twice a week, until he disappeared. June 2009, he just vanished, I tried to send him comments, send him texts, emails until I finally gave up. A couple of months went by, I lost all hope. The wondering killed me, it wasn’t only the fact I wasn’t talking to him. It wasn’t knowing where he’d gone which was the worst, at points I assumed the worst had happened. I couldn’t get my mind around it, it’s a hopeless feeling and it couldn’t be changed. I’d never felt so lost, it was as though I was grieving him. For someone you speak to every day to just vanish and never get in touch again. It’s nothing you can even try and understand, it’s an endless feeling. To lose three years so quickly it was awful. I told myself to try and forget everything; I wanted to pretend he’d ever existed just to make it easier. I burnt ‘the reasons’ in my back garden when it was raining, so cliché but I remember it so clearly. Trying to forget him was the best plan I could think of and it worked, until he reappeared. Two or three months later I saw he’d come onto Myspace, my heart sank. It was after my holiday, I tried to talk but he ignored me. He deleted his Myspace, didn’t reply to emails, at this point I’d lost all sadness. Just became angry, he eventually spoke to me on MSN. He didn’t want to explain at first, but he sent me an email telling me that it was the anniversary of his dad’s death. He felt like he’d died all over again he properly grieved him. He planned to go to university again in 2009, but I knew it wouldn’t have happened when he vanished.
          We rarely spoke after that, and then decided that would be it. We ended everything; we agreed it wasn’t the same and that we had to give up. I loved him, but the idea that we couldn’t be together was too much. It’s an endless feeling of desperation, and I’ve never wanted something so much in my life. It was hard, and to this day I still remain in love with him. I cried for hours during the emails we sent, tears just rolled down my face and my heart just ached. It physically hurt. I still have his email in my inbox, ‘you’re a beautiful person inside and out.’ The words are still implanted in my memory; I could probably recite it I’ve read it that many times. We still speak once in a while, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, I mean it brings back all the feelings. Most times we get onto what happened between us and I still hope that we’ll be together and ending the conversation with ‘love you.’ I don’t want to believe it’s never going to happen, I want to believe that somewhere in the future we’ll meet and the feelings will rush back and we’ll have some romantic weekend where we’ll be the couple we talked about.

Today nearly 4 years later, I still feel like he’s the only person I could ever be in love with, and I hope that when I go to university he’ll visit me. I just don’t want to believe that we’ve lost, that we can’t ever be ‘us, that desire is all we have left.