The anxiety is building up and I can feel the butterflies fluttering about in my stomach. Every second of waiting feels like an eternity. Where the heck is she?I had met her on the popular online dating site Plenty of Fish. I had finally hit pay dirt after messaging twenty other prospects and failing miserably. The initial email exchange was flirty and well received by both parties. There was definitely some initial attraction and not to mention, that her two well chosen profile pictures revealed her to be quite a knock-out.

I hear the coffee shop door swing open. My head quickly turns to see who it is. Dang, it’s not her. She is running about ten minutes late now and I’m sitting here all by myself, stewing in anxiety, which is enough to make my palms sweat. This is my first time ever meeting someone from an online dating site, after all, shouldn’t it be normal to be so nervous?As I take another sip from my mug, I glance up to see another woman walk through the door. Oh my god, that’s her!

She glances around the shop until her eyes finally reach mine. She recognizes me and walks over, immediately apologizing for being so late. As we make our formal introductions she orders a coffee and sits down across from me. Little do I know, the gauntlet is about to begin. I’ve barely said more than several words to her and she is already giving me the twenty questions routine. I’m stuttering trying to answer each one, but the barrage of inquiries keep on coming: What do you do for work? Where do you live? Where are you from? How many dates have you gone on? How much do you make? Do you like cats or dogs? etc.

Ack! This is terrible. It’s like a job interview, except I don’t get to ask any questions in return. Any attempts I make to turn the conversation towards her is quickly rebutted. She offers no information about herself. The entire situation, to say the least, is incredibly awkward. Then out of nowhere, she quiets down and glares at me with a menacing snarl. “Are you staring at my breasts?” she asks.

Oh crap! In my attempt to deliver answers to her ongoing questions, my eyes had drifted down from her face and yes, I was indeed, staring directly into her cleavage. Not that I did this on purpose, but I am a man and as most men can attest, we have tendencies to let our eyes wander from time to time. I am guilty as charged, so I apologize and explain that I didn’t mean it. She is still glaring at me with a stern expression on her face and says, “You’re not the one.”

With that final statement she gets up and walks out the door. The date hadn’t lasted more than twenty minutes and I managed to blow the whole thing. Although, I suppose the first time meeting someone online is usually an awkward experience. I can’t help but feel that with a few more dates and a little more practice, I’ll eventually find someone who clicks. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

About the Author:Matt Savage is a writer and blog author who specializes in dating and online dating topics. He also publishes the Plenty of Fish Dating Tips blog which focuses on research, analysis and tips for the dating scene.

He used to attend for treatment twice a week. I could not wait to see him every time. He was so nice to me. In time i thought i had found what i was looking for . He had every thing i wanted in a guy .

For almost two years i was getting to know him , he was such a gentlemen. I loved him so much but i never told him. I kept it as a secret for so long. My heart used to beat so fast when i used to See him. I used to miss him when he wasn’t around.

One day he phoned work and he asked me to send him a photo of a piercing that i had done for him to his email , because he wanted to know how it looked. I took his email and i told him i’ll send it to him.

Later on at night i went online i sent him an email address , he replied and we ended up chatting. I was feeling so, so happy. We chatted until 2:00 am .

Can  i ask you if you like any one he asked

“Yes i do but  he doesn’t like me ” I replied

How can he not like you , you are so beautiful he said

No I’m not , i don’t really  know what to do  i can’t tell him how  i feel , because he’s too good for me  i said

you should tel him please , I’m sure he will tel that he likes you back he said

He knew that i was talking about him ..( i told him that i couldn’t tell him what his name was but his name starts with A. )

I told him that i didn’t know how to tell the guy that i likes him, and that i was afraid. He told me not to be afraid .

I told him that i would practice on him , and he can tell me of any changes i should make so i wrote :

“Dear. A..

I have never done this before, i don’t really know how to do it or what to say . so please don’t mind if i sound funny

Since the day i have met you , i could not stop thinking of you even for a minute, when you are around i smile and it feels that i have the whole world, when your not around , i think of you  , i wonder where you are , i miss you and wish that you could come sooner.

You have changed my life , if you have some one in you r life , then she is so lucky. I wish that i could be with you , I just fall for you day by day. i don’ t know what to do

Why is life so beautiful when your around? i can’t tel you how much you mean to me through words, i cant find a word to describe how i feel. you make me so happy ,you make me smile and you make my day a better day..

I feel so close to you , I feel so much love and care for you. A i think i love you….”

Is it too much? I asked him.

You know what i would say if i was A..? He asked me

My heart was beating so fast,  I was confused.

I am not too sure , what would you say? i asked him

I would say that i love you too… He replied

When he said this to me i couldn’t type for  minutes , i was just staring at the screen , Oh my god , oh my god , oh my god i think  i repeated this word 100 times, he was nudging me , my heart almost stopped of happiness, i couldn’t believe what i had read.

The he said that he wanted to see me ,I thought i was dreaming. It was too good to be real… oh my god

I was crying of happiness .I cant describe how much i loved this guy.

This conversation was on a Friday night , i saw him on Monday morning, I couldn’t believe it , He asked me to be with him, i said yes then he hugged me and kissed my forehead.

Being in his arms, wow, it was heaven for me, it was the first time that i had felt so much love , i was in love already. I never used to believe in love, being with him , thatch all i wanted , i didn’t need any thing or any one else, my word was complete.

After two years of liking him i ended up with him. We went out for 6 months maybe more i don’t really remember,

He had so much respect for me . i was deeper in love day by day.

I used to miss him even though he was next to me , I used to cry , my heart was hurting because i could feel so much love for him..

One day i asked him if he would ever leave me , he said he will never.

One day we had a small argument, It was over a very little thing. it is very normal to have an argument when your in a relationship , because if the love is very strong , it will survive , in fact you appreciate what you have more.

I was only angry for a bit, later on of the day  i contacted him, He wouldn’t answer my phone calls,

I messaged him for a week and tried calling,

Baby please call me back , im worried  whats the matter with you , why don’t you talk to me , im sorry , i’m very sorry my love , please call me back ,i miss YOUR voice , i miss you .  i was telling him for almost two weeks.

He messaged me after two weeks ” come online ” that’s all it said on the message

I was so happy ,i swiped my tears and quickly went online.

Hey babi whats wrong , I typed to him

We spoke for a bit then he said it’s over and that he wished me all the best,

I thought i was going to die, i cant believe how much i cried.

He can’t break up with me over a lil reason , why , we can get though it , this is nothing

Why babe, please don’t do this , baby i love you , i don’t think i can live with out you , i need you , i told him

no matter how much i begged he just said no no no no

Whats the reason babe , are you married? I asked him as a joke.

Yes , he said i’m married and I have two kids he said.

Oh my god I was so confused, i thought he was joking, Until I realized that he was serious.

The pain that I went though I cant not describe, I almost died , I am still sick , I ended with depression and getting panic attacks always faint and just always too quiet.

I had lost every thing.  I left my job , because I saw him every where , I couldn’t his memories where every where.

It has been a year now, I have cried a river, my heart is so broken, My heart feels like fire its burning so much i’m so much pain.

I love him so much still . Every day I go to work, I think of him, driving home I think of him. I stare a his name for hours. I have had so many other guys asking me out , i’ve tried to move on , nohing and no one compares to him . I cant do do it. I just cant move on . I can’t, I love him and I can’t do it.

I’m so in love.

I don’t have him , but he wil always be in m heart, I will love him for ever,

I’m like a crazy person now, I think every single person I see , I imagine that it is him

I saw him twice after breaking up. He drove past me and walked pass me and he just pretends that he doesnt know me . He sends me a few emails and tells me to move on and that I always look happy. He judges me by the way I look. He doesn’t know what’s going though my heart and what pain I go through. I have told him that I hated him a few times but im crazy over him.I go to a river we went together and cry there for hours. Why does he judge me by the way I look.

If I wasnt still in love with him I would have moved on the next day.

He likes hurting me , He sends me an offline message once every four to 6 months just two lines saying “ Hi how are you” when I see the offline , I cry and cry and reply so much to him he never replies back and then after another 3 months another message I get from him , Hi how are you and doesnt reply to me.

After so long I still cry thinking of him, I was a strong person before I met him, his love has made me so weak.
I know it is wrong to love him, he is married but I feel so sick and lost without him.

I don’t know what to do.

I just love him more and more each day and miss him always.

But first of all, let me tell you all this from the very beginning on…his name is Lee, and I remember the exact day when we got to know each other; a day that I will always keep in mind: the 8th April 2007. It was coincidence (or shall I dare saying destiny?) how we met; it was coincidence (destiny) that I found his e-mail address on a site he’d registered on to meet new people on the net. On the net! I never thought that exactly that was going to keep us apart. The internet, the distance.

Lee lives in England, I live in Luxembourg. And I’ve got to say, I never thought that such a “relation” could be possible over distance. But I was wrong. For Lee and me, it is sort of special. We’re both individuals, very different from each other, but we complement each other so well. It’s hard to describe. The first three things I noticed about Lee were that he’s good to talk to, that he’s trustworthy, and that he has a really awesome humour.

Three things that are really important to me. But most important of all…he was there. Not literally…but he was always there for me, in spite of the distance. When I wasn’t feeling well, when I was sad, when I was upset and complaining…when everyone else would’ve stopped caring, Lee didn’t. Lee listened patiently to everything I said, for hours. He gave me advices, cheered me up, calmed me down. I told him about my past, my worries, my inferiority complexes, and he just listened and didn’t seem to care when it was 3 in the morning. And he did make me feel better.

It might sound weird, maybe it sounds even completely insane…but when we had those long, private, deep conversations, there was no distance; he was right with me, he was so close. Lee has always managed to make me laugh until that I have tears of laughter in my eyes. Like I said, he has an awesome humour that is difficult to understand or to accept for some people.Well, when I noticed that I only smiled when I talked to him on MSN and that I went crazy when I couldn’t talk to him, I also realized that this was way more than just a good friendship. I had fallen in love with Lee. I knew it would be too complicated, so I tried to hide it for months and to carry on as if nothing had happened. But the truth just didn’t leave and it got more and more unsupportable for me each day.

So one night, I worked up all my courage and I told him about my feelings. That moment was an awful one, because I really thought I was going to lose him over that. I thought he might think I’ve lost all my sanity. I thought he might say that this just couldn’t be possible. Falling in love over internet is quite critical after all. I really doubted he would ever want something to do with me again.But luckily I was wrong. Lee reacted in such an awesome way. He said we both felt better now that it was out, and that he absolutely wanted to stay friends with me. He said he liked me as a friend but didn’t want a girlfriend at the time.  But he also cared about how I felt about this and told me not to feel guilty whatsoever because we won’t be together. Well, it wasn’t a positive answer, not the one I would’ve dreamed of. But it was a better one than I had expected.

Plus, I NEVER expected him to love me back. So, we tried to let it shoot over us and just move on as usual. He could, but it was very difficult for me.

Then something changed. I started dating some blokes, tried to get my mind off Lee, tried to fall out of love. And he got weird towards me. Suddenly he started cold-shouldering me. It was like talking to a totally different person. The Lee who’d comforted me, calmed me, made me laugh, that I trusted blindly just started belonging to the past. Back then I didn’t know why. He hardly talked to me. And I had no clue what was wrong. I asked him a few times, and soon we started argueing all the time because I told him I had the feeling he was trying to avoid me. I couldn’t accept that he had less time. Even worse, he thought I wasn’t grateful for everything he’d done for me; he was angry because I complained about him not liking me.

One night, we had a terrible row. Lee said he was past caring now that I was questioning our entire friendship, the entire past 6 months we had gotten on so well. We thought it might be better not to keep in touch, well, we didn’t think that actually. But it happened.Lee and me didn’t speak to each other anymore. It was such an awful time for me. At first, I felt kind of free, though. Freed out of that virtual world…I saw the world with new eyes.

But after some time, I realized that something was missing. Something, someone I just couldn’t make it without anymore. And that was Lee. When I laughed, it wasn’t the same anymore. When I cried, it wasn’t the same either. When I was on MSN and saw that he was online without talking to me, I died a hundred times.I felt kind of empty without him. I felt as if a part of me had disappeared. Well, both of us are very stubborn, but after a month or two, I decided to forget about my stubborness for once and make it up to him, because the last thing I wanted was to lose that friendship.

Well, at the beginning we struggled getting along with each other because of all that had happened, but I suppose our friendship was strong enough to hold despite of quite some stuff, and somehow we made it. Our friendship got better and better,  and I was happy.

Happy for having such a wonderful friend.

But one day I noticed something fundamental, something that I didn’t want to notice over all those months: there was only one boy for me and no one else mattered.Well, the thing is, Lee is really one of a kind. He’s a bit special, let me put it that way. He likes joking around a lot, sometimes he makes fun of things you just don’t make fun of, and sometimes he just says the wrong things. A lot of people told me how dumb he was, told me to forget about him, and well, I had tried. It’s true.

I’ve called him an idiot so many times, told him to bugger off; on some days I really hated him and felt like slapping him right in the face…but what am I supposed to do when I realize that I’ve loved him through it all?

When I realize that the other people just don’t have a clue? They don’t. They just can’t imagine what it’s like between Lee and me. They don’t know what we’ve been through. But I, I won’t forget that he’s the one who’s always been there for me when others weren’t. I won’t forget the fact that he makes me laugh, that he makes my day when I feel down.

But most of all, I won’t forget about this trust. There’s hardly anyone I tell as much as I tell Lee. Lee said himself once: “I am your diary.” – It’s true. Once he said he’d like to read my diary, but there’s no point – he knows everything anyway.

Well, apart from one thing of course. That I love him again. Maybe he does know, I tell him from time to time, but somehow I’ve got the feeling that he takes it all for a big joke. How the hell am I supposed to know if he never ever shows his feelings?

Maybe I’m ‘only’ a good friend for him. And our friendship means the world to me, it does. It’s a really really strong friendship that resisted so much already. It resisted when I got on his nerves or when he got on mine…all the time. When I told him I love him the first time. It also resisted when we had all our rows, when we didn’t speak to each other for over a month. It resisted through all the times I hated him. And through all the times I’ve loved him.

Basically, we’ve been to hell and back again, but through it all, he’s always been my best friend. And even more than that. If only I was with him…and there it is again: the fundamental problem I talked about before: the distance.

But probably, we’ll never meet. I’m taking my final exams this year, planning to go to University in England in July 2009. Which is exactly the time when Lee plans to join the army. The timing couldn’t be worse. And that makes me very very sad. I’ve imagined so often what it would be like if we lived in the same town. We could meet up as often as we wanted to. We would probably be even better friends than we are now. And probably we would’ve been long together.

The distance gets more and more unbearable each day…but will we ever have the opportunity to look into each others eyes? Will I ever have the opportunity to hold him in my arms?If this is a story like Romeo and Juliet, I suppose not.

….To be continued?!?….

He’s from    India

Myself shinna. Vikky and i, met on intranet in office one year back. I was 25 and he was 26.Though we were quite mature but still “Love is blind”.

I and him were working in same company but at diffrent location.One day I find a colleuge of mine have same surname as i have. It was 30th dec, so i decided to sent him a mail to wish New year. I sent him a mail and got reply in 4 hrs.But as i didnt want to talk to him everyday or make him friend, i didnt reply him.

Days passed, neighter I nor he mailed me. After 20 days , he sent me a mail . As a courtesy i also sent him a mail . Than he sent me a mail with compliment good one , gr8. But we didnt start talking to each other for so many days. Finaly after  a month he asked me abt me and my family thn we start talking. then i given my no to him .

Once he got my number he started smsing me in wish of talking to me on sms after our office hrs. Firstly we talk on sms thogh he had my number but he never called me, but we start chatting every day atleast for hour or two. He showed me his wish to meet me with the clear intention to make love but i am not agreed upon it as i am a girl who want to be of his hubbies only, i didnt want to fall in love at all.Then he said when you will call me only then i ll come to your city.

Then we start calling each other , we talked for quite sometime but very formally. He proposed me to come with my friends to middle of the country to celebrate chrismas that way we can meet eachother but i simply refuse but yes, it was the time when i start loving him and really wanted to get married to him. As he was the elder son of the family and doesnt have parents. He live with them and want he should go for love marriage. Then he said if my sister get married first then i ll marry you by going against my grantparents.

He started searching a guy for her sister but was not succeed, before his sister got married his family received a alliance for him , but he refuse to his family by saying i want my sister marriage to be first. Then girl agreed to wait till his sister got married.That day we were talking to eachother on mail , He asked me what if next month i got married.I said than i ll be happy for you but you have to explaine your courtship days to me as we promissed .Suddenly he said i am saying’yes to that girl’. I thought he is joking than i called him very next day to confirm. He said i am gonna get engage with a girl of my grandparents choice. i congratulate him and wish him for great married life.

But i never told him reality that i was crying for whole night. I called my friend to tell that he is getting married and cryed in front of him for an hour . Now even we talk for sometime . He must be happy with her but he never told me about his relation.But i even today check my mail box with the hope that he will mail me or sms me. One day he will come back to me.

Shinna

It was Saturday morning when I decided to end my relationship with this man. I don’t know how to say it or what to do to make it easier for him to accept everything but as the song goes by “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart” that’s why I just tell him the truth. I don’t love him anymore, I don’t know but I just fell out of love. Maybe because he’s always there for me… sounds funny isn’t it? Well he’s always been there for me, wherever I go, he’s there, in every occasion, he’s there, in my work, in school, anywhere, as if I don’t have my freedom. I don’t have my own time, time for myself to choose where I want to go or to be with my friends. Just like that…I felt that I need to have a space for myself…I got irritated whenever he call asking me if I already eat or where will I go. That’s why one day I decided not to answer his calls. I did not tell him my plans for the day. I went to the mall alone, bought something for my self, I even watch movie alone, eat my favorite foods and I feel so very free.When I got home, he’s there waiting for me. My mom told me he’s been waiting for almost four hours. He then asked me where I’ve been, why did I left without even telling him, who’s with me, those stupid questions. I just said, I go out all by my self and I don’t have to tell him everything. What’s wrong with me, he asked. Nothing I said. I just want to be alone. Could you give some time to be with my self? Give me some space!
           

After that night, I talked to my friend whom I recently met just before I got bored with my man. He’s more matured and manly than him and we talked every night after I finished working. He always makes me laugh and I really like his sense of humor. We just talked using a two way radio and then one night he went to my place to finally meet him. We became good friends I guess after we met.Before this, I told my boy that I met a friend and we always talked. He’s a jealous type of a man but I made him understand that he’s just a friend of mine.In spite of asking him to give me some space, he still did the same thing. He still visited me in my work, he still call me, went to my place as if nothing happens. And because he did not give me time to think, I finally decided to end our relationship. Well I don’t love him anymore; I mean how can I love a man who doesn’t want to give my own freedom? What will you do if you’re in my shoes? I left him and I accidentally fell in love with the man who’s now the father of my two daughters.The last news I’ve heard from him is he went abroad and worked there.And so I told my friend who’s on the phone to just let go and give his self a little time to think. Letting go of someone you love is really hard but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder. It doesn’t mean that you are weak when you give up, it only shows that you are strong enough to let go to start a new beginning.Because I’m too sleepy that night, I even did not notice that my friend who called is the man I once left before.