20
February
2010

it was summer 2006 black creek .wisconsin . i used to have a small bussiness  a saw mill, i place an add at a local newspaper looking for a secretary  i get a few calls and i fanally met this girl for the interview . she was blonde and beautyful but not only that. she was the dj at the only radio station  in spanish in the area at the time. but sinse the radio was closing she was looking for job. i do not know she was the dj until she mentioned in the interview.anyway she get the job and she work from her home .we just see each other maybe once per day or ebery other day for the next 2 months until  i decide to close the bussiness do to a few  of personal problems  end i tell my employees about the closing  including her . i tell her that i was sorry for that .she said that was fine that dnt worry. a day or two later her mom call me on my cell phone and ask me  .that what happen why i fired her daughder .that if she do something grong, or if  she lost money or a check .that she usally collects from my costumers , i told her the same that i was sorry but i have to go out of bussiness because personal problemes .she tell me  that was ok but  that linda her daugther was at her room very sad and that she never saw her like. that that was not because the job but that she feels very special simphaty she ask me if i can call her to make her feel bether i call her the same day and ask her what happen  and i ask her about her feelings she tell me that was true  but she dnt know anything about my personal life anything of me  i just tell her the true about my past that i have been married and have kids  she was sad but said that was ok we never go out or kiss one day i have the chance but i was to nervous and my legs were shaking and i miss my chance  we continue talking  but sinse her family find out about my past she was having a lot of arguments whit her parents because that  she said that was bether if we dnt talk any more time past and i move to chicago one day i email her i send her a love song but she dnt know it was me after a few days i tell it was me she tell me that i was reall bad that after all this time i have her imail and never imail her that she never forget about me that she thinks of me every second  .sinse then we  keep in contact via email for a few months she was in appleton wi and i in chicago we were planing in go out but never go because again she said her family prefer to see her  deaht than whit me that was not posible to be together that was bether to say goodbye  i send her a bucket of roses that was by valentines day 2007 we dnt talk for a few weeks i was trying to forget her but was to late she was in my heart and my mind every single day fanaly i met her one day in milwaukee  sinse she move there now she was working as a reporter for a tv station there but her mother was whit us all the time and we can do nothing  and again she was having hard times whit her mother because of me we dnt talk again for some time until one day she text me to see how i was   we talk for a few more months until one day i was suposed to pick her to go for diner she dnt answer the phone ever again that dnt keep me from thinking of her every single day i look at her my space often just to see how is she doing and there is not almost a day that i dnt cry for her sinse then 3 winters had gone 3 febrary s has past


1
January
2010

This is a story of how I meet and connected with my soul mate, and our first date:

   The first day we connected, I heard you talking, joined in the conversation. I was immidiately attracted to you. I sought out to have more conversation with you. We took a break by the back of the building and talked much more in private. I knew you were someone I was going to be connected to right away! I asked you to stay after work to chat with me more. You stayed, which shocked me, since you were working a double that day! We connected again that night as well, and we laughed and shared thoughts and feelings. We exchanged e-mail addresses and I wrote you for the first time that night from work, cause I so wanted to talk with you again. In that letter I know we had joked about us getting a one bedroom apartment and how we would arrange it with the four of us together, who would have ever have known that we would literally go there one day. I only worked there for two weeks!   I only worked with you that once in which we connected. Got fired shortly afterwards, we never worked together again after that night, but we had already connected and started in motion a relationship.

   Our first date! What a night! I think I could write a book on it if I had the time! We had e-mailed and chatted online for about a week. I had learned that she liked Arabic things, so I looked online for an Arabic restraunt to take her too. I wanted to be sure that she knew that I listened to her, and that I cared about what she said. I had to deal with the fact of telling her I was still married, but separated in mind and in spirit. I had practiced all day long with my mother and my best friend Marie on how to tell you this. I was sick to my stomach about it, cause I stood to lose her if I didn’t approach it the right way. I knew what was in my heart and I needed to be sure to convey it correctly to her. The Arabic place was very nice, she was even suprised when the belly dancer came out and started dancing. Since again it was something she had conveyed to me in that week about something she was very much into. I think she knew right there and then, that I was serious about us and this was not a fly by night relationship I was working on. I had arranged for us to go to the landing in downtown Jacksonville that night. I wanted to be close to the water, cause I knew we were both stronger emotionally next to it. We walked around a bit and enjoyed the Christmas decorations. She was like a kid in a candy store seeing the huge lighted tree and all the lights and ornaments. I walked with her all the while thinking about what needed to be discussed. I tried to find a warm quiet place and looked around for one. I remember telling her I had something to say, and she stared me dead in the eyes, which made it even harder. I told her, and of course she was shocked inside to hear what I had to say. We walked some more by the water while I gave her time to internalize it in her head. We ended up sitting down in a pavillion next to the water where we talked about it more. It ended with both of us still feeling connected. We walked a little more, and I stopped her and gave her a big hug. This was our first true embrace, we almost kissed there as well. I know I had wanted too, but she turned her head before I planted my lips. We ended up on a bench outside while we watched the Christmas tree perform a light show in sync with music. I moved her so I could massage her shoulders for her. We soon ended up with her in my arms sidways on a bench upstairs. We finally kissed, and it was like nothing I could ever forget. I had kissed many times before but with her it was pure electricity. I was already falling in love with her. We had both broken so many rules that night in regards to what we said we were that night. It was like the rule book in life for ourselves was thrown out! We had both agreed on that we don’t like to kiss on first dates!! I guess it was meant to be, and I now had seen her in a totally new light. From that point on I knew that I was going to have a relationship with this woman. Now to what degree I had no idea.

We never stopped talking from the one night that we meet at work. We have talked EVERY SINGLE NIGHT ever since then. Sometimes for many many hours, sometimes for only a short moment. One thing though that we agreed on is without a spoken word is that we would never let a night go without somehow connecting. I cannot begin to tell you how connected I feel with her. We feel every single emotion together and every single thought. We don’t even have to talk together to know what the other is feeling. It is like we are twins or something and are connected at the mind together. It really does amaze me in that sense, that we are so totally connected in mind and spirit. It has been about three months from that infamous first date, and we have not stopped loving each other since. We are now in the middle of planning to move out, and start a new life together. Who would have ever known from a simple meeting of the minds that we would have grown to love each other to this level of understand and commitment!

James

3/23/09