By Sarah Thomlinson
Particularly if you haven’t lived together before your wedding,
it is important to establish how chores and regular tasks will
be divided to ensure you are both happy with your living
arrangements and don’t have unreasonable expectations of your
spouse. Even if you already live together, you may want to
question whether you or your future spouse expect existing
behaviours to change. You may decide to draw up a rota for the
housework or each take responsibility for set jobs. Certain
things such as unblocking the plug hole or putting out the
rubbish may be the stuff of nightmares for one of you, but just
a regular activity for the other. Whilst it may seem unnecessary
to talk through these things in advance, it can lead from mild
disgruntlement to full scale resentment, if it is not openly and
frankly discussed and agreed upon. There are so many things to
potentially bicker about when you first move in together – from
dishes left in the sink, to washing left out, shoes not taken
off to toilet seats left up – that it is far wiser to hold
pre-emptive dialogues than risk a sense of dismay as come back
down to earth, after your honeymoon.
Your spouse should be your best friend, the first person you
share good news with or turn to when you are troubled. The bond
the two of you have will grow stronger throughout your years
together, so long as you maintain your closeness with regular
cuddles and chats and not let your career, children or other
pressures come between you. Make regular time to do something
together, whether it be a meal out, a trip to the theatre, or
just snuggling up and watching a favourite DVD. Holidays are a
wonderful way to enjoy each others company, whether a fortnight
abroad, a week camping or a weekend at a B&B, getting away from
the routine of day-to-day life is a great way to re-connect and
celebrate your relationship.
Great relationships are those where you can talk for hours and
know that your spouse revels in hearing about your day and
sharing the events from their own, where you can laugh together
over funny anecdotes and commiserate disappointments. Being a
good listener is key to any relationship. If you don’t
understand what you spouse is explaining, ask them open ended
questions to enable them to describe it in a different way.
Asking questions also shows that you are interested and keen to
make sure you are correctly following their dialogue. Avoid
interrupting a flow of communication and wait for a natural
break before offering your opinions or ideas. If your spouse
fails to do likewise, gently discuss with them how you find it
difficult to express yourself or complete your story and how
that may make you feel. However, remember it is possible that
your spouse is excited, surprised or confused by what you have
said, causing them to interrupt, as their interpretation
overtakes their tact.
Rich marriages are those where both partners enjoy a variety of
activities and interests, some common, some varied. Whilst it is
rewarding to share hobbies and a mutual sense of fun and
adventure, it is also important to allow each other time and
space to pursue your own ventures and maintain your own
friendships. These may be in pursuits only one of you finds
interesting, yet you can both enjoy discussing and understanding
the reward the other gets from it. The more variety you have in
your lives, the more you have to share and debate. Trying new
things together can spark excitement and open up new
opportunities for each of you.
Caring for each other is one of your key responsibilities in a
marriage. Small acts of kindness – such as making your spouse a
cup of tea every morning or setting the video to record their
favourite program – performed out of love and affection, allow
you to demonstrate your desire to nurture your partner. By
setting your own wishes aside and putting those of your spouse
first, you show your respect and high regard for their comfort
and happiness. Being there for each other, both in times of joy
and sorrow, is the most solemn and strengthening aspect of a
marriage. The most any of us can ask for from a lifetime
commitment, is to have someone to stand shoulder to shoulder
with when times are hard, who wants for us what we want for
ourselves and who is prepared to move mountains to help us reach
our goals. Be that person for your partner and know they will be
likewise for you.
About The Author:
Vintage Choice offers a complete chauffeur driven experience with a range of authentic vintage wedding
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