11
July
2010

My first love part -1
- Dhilip R Moothaan

Adolescence – an age where you can not differentiate Love, infatuation, mutual care. The story I present to you is all about my true adolescent love. Like any love story, the relation starts with friendship, goes to love, betrayal, breakup, suicide and resurrection. But the platform and my narration must be new and should attract you, I guess!
If you believe you are intelligent and can’t be fooled by anyone, you will reconsider it at the end of the story. Just for few reasons I would like to split the story into halves and present you! Please do comment at the end of the story. Enjoy the story.

11.00PM July 23, 2010:
Along the sea – shore, there were at least a 100 people. All of them looked worried. They felt bad and their face dulled with the grief that the person who rescued them from a sure sea-drown has not yet returned. They even complained it to the local officials who were consoling them. But suddenly there was something flying few meters above the sea. It seemed like dolphin. No! It’s the rescuer who is swimming like dolphin and suddenly there were whistle sounds all around me. I starred at my colony friends. They were laughing like they are never going to laugh again. I found many in theatre too laughing. They were laughing at a Mass hero’s introduction scene in film. The mass hero was none another Dr.Vijay (Guys! Vijay has a character in my love story. He plays his part in my later part of story). As the camera was zooming to the hero who was still swimming to the shore there were other sounds too like “psssssssssshhhhhh”, “aaraambichutaan da (tamil)” the guys behind us mentioned and “ehhhhhhhhhuppppppp” a drunkard to the left of us showing his digestive power! And there were vomiting sounds somewhere ( No guys! Film had nothing to do with that vomiting). One of my friend started shouting “ thalaivaaaa” and I joined with him. But as film progressed sounds diminished and seemed like a graveyard. I was complaining, making fun and chatting about the film with my friends.
11.23 PM July 23, 2010:
It stated “HI, I AM HERE IN THIS THEATRE”. I was inspecting the number for a while and I could not figure out the sender. So I replied “Oh! Gandhiji what are you doing here! Is this any brutal punishment for you from the British government” (a prank message). Next message gave me a 1000V shock. The message was “Forgot me uh! Rascal! I am your sweety”. I checked the number. It was RESHMA. Suddenly my memories re- winded 5 years back. But suddenly a stunt scene from the mass hero awakened me. My friends once again started to laugh. I said “ Hey just for our 10 rupees (ticket), he is taking a huge risk flying in sky and fighting! Poor guy!”. They laughed and added their points to make it more humor. I replied to the message “ Hi, how are u! and where are you now!” . In few seconds a reply came “ Am fine da. So nice of you to inquire about me after all those incidents. We will meet in interval” . I replied “ If I am alive!”. She replied “ Poda ! My hero is great. Look how smart he is” (Guys! Now do you get the role of Dr.Vijay). I sent “ How is your husband? Is he with you” . She replied “ Ya! he is with me. He has slept”. I finished the conversation “ ok! I will meet you in interval”. She sent a smiley. And now my senses wanted a flashback! a flashback! a flashback!
5.35 PM May 19 2005:
I ran fast within the stagnant traffic in townhall, crossed myself and reached the tuition center. It was sweating and Ramkumar popularly called as Doubt Ramkumar reserved a place for me in the tuition and I sat there. The chemistry teacher was handling the topic ‘Benzene’ in organic chemistry. Ramkumar asked “ why were you late?” And without hesitation “ I made myself late so that you can ask ‘why were you late’! ”. Frustrated by my answer, he said “Idiot!”. I said “cool man! jus some fun”. I used these blade technique or so called as Mokka for the guys who torture me by their own Mokka. And I adhered my attention close to the teacher. I met Vivek and Arjun ( My neighborhood friends who were tuition mates too) after the two tuition (chemistry followed by physics) sessions. We went to a nearby bakery for some snacks. Vivek said “ De Reshma inquired about you!”. Arjun was keen in seeing his new books. After pushing some chicken puff inside I asked “ how is she” ( just like any normal boy). Vivek “She was short! wheatish bright” . It came to my sense my mom had informed that a relative girl joined the tuition. “ De see this physics book!, definitely its difficult for me to get through this year ! already I have 7 ½ years of Jupiter( Sani bhagavan) and now these books are going to add fuel to the fire” Arjun started complaining and the topic distracted. While I was returning to home, Vivek and Arjun were conversing, I was thinking ‘Reshma! I have to see her’. Since the tuition was on alternate days I forgot her then.
There was no tuition for next 3 weeks.
6.35 PM June 21 2005:
I was starring at Hofmann bromamide reaction equation trying to balance it when chemistry sir finished his tuition but doubt ramkumar when he stood-up and was about to leave, fair& lovely from his pocket. I picked it and gave it to him. He self explained that it was to maintain his glamour. “Will a white color donkey be more attractive that a brown colored one!” I questioned him. He replied I have developed envy on him. ‘Only Lord Krishna can save the world’I thought. “Excuse me! Are you Dhilip!” a girl asked me from behind. As I turned, for a moment I was examining her top to bottom. Tied hair with moist in it, fair, long lips and slight bad teeth formation, I made a guess she was a Malayalee and must be Reshma. I replied “Yes”. “ Are you a Malayalee” was the next question she shot. A same yes from me. “Is your mother’s name Latha?” she fired again, for a moment I starred at her and said “Why are you going to write your ancestral property under my mother’s name”. I was arrogant this time. She was taken aback by my question. Her friends behind her, giggled. In shame of receiving a big bun from me, she gave me a quick smile and left. I was boosted by triumph of my arrogance. When I said this to vivek, he felt pity for the girl.
In the following week of tuition sessions, I was shouting answers and ramkumar too. I forgot that there was a creature called Reshma.
5.15 PM July 2 2005:
I came early to tuition. As usual I was sitting in the last row. There were some occupants in first few rows. I was playing with my reliance mobile. Suddenly a ring came from my mobile. It was an alarm. Everyone turned and saw me. Attraction boosted me and I pretended to answer the alarm, that too in a HI-FI English. Reshma and her friends were looking at me and my hands. I tried to conceal (hide) my old fashioned black and white mobile. Now I threw my eyes directly into Reshma’s eyes while speaking. She retaliated in similar way. ‘Bold girl’ I thought. And now I was starring at the ceiling and answering the dumb alarm. After I finished, I immediately put the mobile back to my pockets. Reshma and her friends started walking towards the door near my seat. Reshma was starring me all the way and she hit her head against the wall. I immediately asked “Hey what happened! Are you hurt?”. Her two friends tried to help her. In a feeble voice she replied “Ya. It pains. I should have been more careful”. I immediately said “I did not ask you. I asked the wall! stupid” and gave a soft brush to the wall and “Oh sweet wall don’t worry ! we shall punish this blind buffalo cho cho” This is what you call adding insult to the injury. Her friends laughed and this time it was a real shame and she left the place furiously. In a few minutes, her friends came back and took their bags and left the place. I smiled at her friends when they left. Later that night, a town bus nearly killed me. I thought it could have been her curse!
The next few sessions of tuitions went as usual, shouting the answers and helping others near me too. Starring eyes continued between me and Reshma. Vivek reported to me that Reshma was looking through my physics test paper and chemistry test paper. I did not care about her because I was enjoying a lot with my gang of friends in school.
5.28 PM August 20 2005:
I found vivek sitting alone in 2nd row and sat near him. There was no one near him. We were conversing for a short time and some girls sat behind us. I did not bother who they were. We got news that our chemistry sir will be late. Suddenly something pricked me from behind. Reshma was the culprit. She said “Hey vivek do you know that Dhilip is my relative!” . Vivek asked me. I nodded. Reshma added “My relative finds pleasure in insulting me and threatens me by his eyes!”. I starred at her eyes again. Vivek argued for her. I said “Even if Reshma was not my relative I would have done that!”. Reshma replied “Please don’t insult me again. I will die of embarrassment!”. I laughed at her and replied “ok! ok I too feel pity on you”.Then she inquired about my mother and conversation went on. And sir came at 5.45. And I engrossed myself in Halogens concept. She bid good bye and left.

The next few weeks I only managed to see her at the end of session where she used to smile and leave. Though I was more friendlier with her, she received her buns regularly from me. We had some chit chats between us.

6.33 PM November 2 2005:
After the session, I was sitting outside with a friend named Sairam. Reshma was speaking to him. I was looking at the mobile. Since it was long time, we both had a conversation. There was a contest in our ego’s that who is going to speak 1st. After 10minutes, my ego won. She spoke to me “How are you my relative! Are u a quite person! Why are you not talking me to like others?”. I thought for a moment suddenly she continued “No my dear friend. Not another bun!”. I smiled at her and said “I heard my mom that you are going to marry your 35 year old uncle”. Reshma instantly “who said so! Am not marrying now. I want a degree. We have found an alliance to my uncle. So am not marrying him”. “Oh! for your previous question I am fond of being in a gang of males rather than talking to a female. So I don’t present myself to women”. Reshma “hey silly am not ‘any women’, am your relative da”. I ordered “you are not repeating the word da to me! Mind it”. She asked sorry and due to the un-comfort encountered she left the scene, bidding good evening.
And there was other issue happening which I was not aware of it. Arjun’s school friends in the tuition were flirting with Reshma and her friends. Particularly there was a guy called Vishnu who had developed a love, more like crush on either Reshma or one of her friend. And he is going to reveal it on next session. Vivek told this to me. Now I felt some possessiveness on Reshma and did not want to be her name.
6.40 PM November 22 2005:
Anticipation of “who is it” has builded so much during the 1 hour session. And I was near to place where Vishnu was to reveal the truth. I was listening in anticipation. I was suddenly called by a girl. She called me nearer to door. She was 6 feet tall, milky white without any marks in her face, was in pardha and few girls were standing with her. I was quickly examining the other pretty girls while Muslim girl introduced herself as Arziya and said I need to help her. I asked how. She said that physics master tried to misbehave her and asked me to help. I asked “why me”. “We know you are a pet to him. You should do something about this”. Though puzzled, I said I will try. And when I turned back there were bunch of guys astonished that I spoke to her. I felt some pride in it and when those guys asked. I said “Nothing da! Just something personal between us!” with my heads straight. One of them said “ You have a lucky mole somewhere da”. But I was curious about the parallel issue. I ran to vivek. I heard from him that Vishnu’s crush was Reshma’s friend. There was a sigh of relief within me. When I went to the nearby bakery, Reshma and her friends were standing. The girl to whom Vishnu proposed was crying. Few girls were consoling her. I saw Reshma. She asked me for a one rupee coin. I gave her. She voluntarily explained why her friend was crying and explained the whole issue. Just for fun I asked her “I thought he will propose to you”. Reshma too “yes pa. I too thought so. I had my heart in mouth till he proposed to her. But now my tension is over and happy”. I said “If Vishnu itself does not like your face, who is going to like you”. Reshma “Rascal!” and after few seconds “PODA”. She pinched me. Even she laughed to that. And we spoke for few minutes and bus came.
6.35 PM December 2 2005:
I borrowed a book from Reshma for exam and returned it to her father. Well about that Arziya issue…


18
July
2009

so let me start for the very beginning!

wayback 2003, in my sophomore year! i met this man, named igme, well, we came from just one circle of friends. at first we are just friends because as i know, he was courting our friend, and then, they become lovers. though i know that i was really the one whom he wants to court, but he was afraid that ill be rejecting him.

i was in a realtionship also that time, but unexpectedly, i broke up with my bf and he did as well, but we never intended to do it both.

JANUARY 17, 2004

we are invited to attend our classmate’s birhday. so we’re there and our friends also. we talked about non-sense things, laughed together and i get him a food for him to eat of course! it’s a start. night comes, we went home, but before i ride on a jeepney, he gave me something, it’s a flower! (a flower from a pumpkin) funny it is! night came, we talked over the phone! and boom! he had my yes! yeah, that same day and night, he became my bf!!

after a month, we celebrated our first month together, i went to hhis house with our friends, unfortunately some gossipers told my dad that i was with a guy, because she saw me, and she immediately reported it to my dad! that same month, i will be celebrating my 15th birthday! i was really young then!

and so, when i got home, my mom and dad, were both angry! super mad as if i did too much wrong decision in my life ever! they thought that i had sex with my bf. which i never and we never did and we never even try to do. he didn’t intended to do it to me. it was also the start of my burden in my life.my mom slapped my face, hold my hair as if she’s riding in a horse with my hair as her knot to hold on, she also hit me with his leather belt, she repeated it all over, again and again, until my whole body can’t feel the pain every time she hits me. and my dad, well, he did what my mom did to me, and too worst! he grabbed his gun and point it in my forehead, i thought he’s gonna push the trigger, i wish he just did! but he didn’t.

after that horrible day in my life, i was isolated. i didnt go to school, i am not allowed to use my cellphone, telephone and never been allowed to go outside the house. i think of killing myself that day.

until i realized how much i love him, its the start of sacrificing my life for him. i started writing letters for him in the middle of the midnyt, and i gave it to my cousin which is both our classmate, through that, they knew what had happened to me.

2004 – 2005

another school year had passed, i was allowed to go to school and we celebrated our 1st year anniversary but with a limited time. those days were also the start of my rebellion through my parents. i learned to cut my classes, o lie even more, to let my studies left apart and so on. so month of the march came, i am never allowed to go to school. i love him so much but im so young that i can’t do anything to fight for him, i can’t be with him, until i just wanna end up dying! those days, were the saddest and hardest part of my life as a teenager and as a human! my friends are also not allowed to be with me, i felt like i was with nobody. i feel like as if im a prisoner with a biggest and unforgivable sin ever! is loving a sin?

AUGUST 04 2005

it was his birthday, i bought him a cake, at this time i wasnt allowed to go to school because they saw me and him, together juz recently cut out class, so they told me that im never gonna study. until the night of this day comes, we have a pharmacy that time, i used to be the cashier of it, but my mom this day went home, and she got mad and very angry, she knew that i went to see him in a few minutes which i am never allowed to do. she told me to go home, then the electricity wire is waiting for me.. she hitted me, everywhere that she can hit me! my face, my wholebody, everywhere! i wanna die this time, i want to get a knife and just kill myself so she wont hit me anymore, but i never did, nor i didnt try to do it.

instead, i called him, they didnt knew that i bought a new phone, to keep on touch with him, to call him everytime i missed him. and so, that night, i wrote a letter, for my mom and dad, telling that i am going somewhere, this is the only way that i think could make me free, elope with him! i made up my mind as quick as i told him yes! when we became lovers. midnyt came, i prepared my things, a pair of clothes, undies and just a P60.00 in my wallet. where am i supposed to go with that amount of money,. but still i go on, iwent to their house at exactly 4:05 in the morning! he was shocked, and her mom as well. i want to be with him always, and thats the only answer i think can made us be together.

but we never succeeded, i was caught by my relatives and dad, he was teary eyed that time, he held me in his arms as if he dont wants to lose me, i feel so ashamed of what i did, it happened because i didnt listened to igme, and so thats why i got caught.we went home, they talked to me. and i go to school again after a day. i had the chance to see him everyday, but still my parents, family doesnt want him.

we celebrated our 5 years and 4 months anniversary last May. but i ended up everything with him. why? because things getting cold between the two of us! we often fight for some non sense things and so i decided to end it, even though it hurts really! but honestly, it wasn’t really the reason why i broke up with him, and why i have to just forget the sacrifices we had and faced together, well it’s because, my mom and dad, doesn’t and wouldn’t like him. they hated him as if he’s a bad person. i never told him that because i dont want to hurt his feelings, i just want him to think that i gave up on him, which i didnt. in my heart, he’s always be the person that i am dreaming to be with for the rest of my life.

but for now, i want to finished first my studies, and give my parents a chance to be proud of me again. and when i finally finished my responsibilities as a student, as a daughter and as a sister to my siblings, i will go back to him and make things all possible, whether my parents like it or not.

and now, i am currently a third year college student, one year to go, and I’ll have my diploma, i can stay with him after i have helped my family. Together we will build our very own dream life! if we are meant to be!

i always told him that “if we are meant to be in this life, one day in God’s will, he will permit us to be together, forever.”

(thank you very much for reading my story, it’s actually a summary of it, coz i know i will bore you if i make it as detail as it is.. thank you so much! may we all find our very own love of our life! good luck to all of us! GOD BLESS)

-MILANELLE