A storm named “Ambo” was hitting the country that night as I look for some place to stop by. The jeepney I was riding was accidentally hit by a van that’s why I have to get off and wait for another. It’s getting colder and I still can not find a way of getting home. Walking in nowhere, I finally found a place where I can wait. I was wondering why there are still people at this time, in this small store. Some were buying cigarettes while the others were just sitting, talking non sense thing. It’s already 11:15 in the evening and the storm still playing the song of destroying. “He died because of that girl and her wife still in bad condition”, a woman at my side said. Now I know, there is a burial at the other side of this road. Somebody sat beside me and ask me where I came from. “I was just waiting for the rain to stop, I said.” Just to say something, I ask him if he’s a relative or a friend of the dead person. “I ‘m one of he’s child hood friend”, he said.“We’ve been friends for almost 15 years and I still can’t believe that he’s gone”, he added. He’s trying to stop his tears to fall but I can feel the pain inside he’s heart. Before he can say something, I stand up and said goodbye coz it’s really getting late, well it’s already morning. “Are you sure you’re going now?” he asked. “Well then, take care.”Waiting for a ride, I saw the piece of a black cloth on the other side of the road, a sign that somebody died.There was something about that sign that made me looked again. Although it rains so hard, I can still read the details written on that black piece of a cloth and Oh no… that name… I couldn’t help my self but to walk and cross the road.As I walk by, my heart beat so fast and can not believe the name I saw written in that piece of cloth. “Vincent Santillian”, I whispered. I laughed and said “What’s with me? Millions of people in this world had a name of Vincent Santillian. That’s not him” It’s impossible. Vincent Santillian, I really can’t forget this name…How can I ever forget the first man I ever loved and the first one who broke my heart?Back on my high school days, we used to be together. He’s my classmate when I was in my first year high school.To tell you frankly, he was not my type…I didn’t like him the first time I saw him and well I’m only 14 at that time and all I want to do is to study and make friends.One thing made us close and that is “music”. I love singing and he likes to play guitar.Since then, we used to perform in our class. My teachers and classmates really like our tandem until we joined every singing contest in our school which made us really close.If others like us well of course some of them did not. I used to have critics at that time because of Vincent.A lot of girls in our school had a crush on him that’s why they used to say bad comments for me but I don’t care about them. To hell with what they say or do!Our foundation day has finally come and as usual we are going to perform again. It was also Valentine’s Day and I was surprised to receive a card from Vincent.What’s more surprised was when I read the card saying that he loves me.I talk to him about what he wrote and he just smile at me and said that I’m now he’s girl.“What do you mean by that”? I said. He just hold my hand and brings me to the stage. I didn’t notice that it’s our turn to sing. People were shouting our name. Everybody was clapping their hands as if we were like celebrities.He started to play his guitar, the song “Paglisan” of Color it Red was the title of the song we sang that time. Of all the performances we ever made, this was the first time I ever felt nervous not because of the crowd but it’s because of Vincent. The way he looked at my eyes as we sing and not only that, it’s the first time he kissed me after we performed which made the crowd more excited.I can’t explain the feelings that I have that day. I can not sleep because of what happened.Since then, we used to be together as if we’re only the person at that school and because of that more girls hated me. There were times when I heard bad words as I passed by over them. “Is she the one? She’s not pretty! Vincent is really crazy!”The girl is right; I also don’t know why Vincent fell in love with me. Vincent is really handsome he look s like Edward Furlong (from the movie Terminator), he had beautiful eyes and a pair of dimple and what can I say he really made my day complete. But one day he changed, he became cold and moody.I don’t know what I have done to make him changed. I just pretend that nothing’s change until one day he talk to me. He told me that there’s nothing wrong with me. It was he’s fault he said. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about so please just tell me the exact thing”, I said. “I had a girl friend before I met you, we broke up and I find her to you, you look like her, the only difference is you’re a singer.” And now she came back, I still love her so I accepted her” he explained.Before he ended up saying these words, my tears were falling and I really can not believe that this was happening. I can not move and can’t even think of a single word to say. It was the worst day of my life. The pain I feel really cuts my heart and I can not breathe that time. I just walked away from him as if I did not hear anything. He was calling my name but I never turn around.I cry every night and every morning became so painful for me. There were lots of invitation but I ignored them. I don’t want to sing anymore. Since then I lost my self. I cut my long hair and begin to have a bitter life until one day when I was walking through the school hall way someone calls me. It was Vincent. “Can we talk? He asked. “What’s new? We have nothing to talk about. If you will convince me to sing again well you got the wrong number”“I’m here because I care for you, I hate seeing you like this. I want you back; I want you to be with me again”“Don’t feel guilty okay, if you’re doing this because you feel guilty, you better leave.” I said.“No, I love you that’s why I’m here” Please?“How about her, I thought you love her?”He just held my hand and smile at me. He brought me to the place where we used to practice.They said that love is sweeter the second time around but I proved them wrong.It was not the same as we were before.Days passed by, I decided to end my relationship with Vincent. I realized that I can not love a man who loved me just because he saw her ex on me.I transferred to the other school without saying goodbye just to forget him.It’s really hard for me to forget him…it was hard.I didn’t see him since then.It’s almost 13 years now since the last time I saw him and I’m over him, I guess.“Are you the singer” someone ask. “What singer? Oh the singer, yes I am the singer I almost forgot.”“You’re just in time please come in”, the lady said.As I enter the house I saw a guitar near the cabin. It really made me weak to recognize that guitar. My tears began to fall as I walk near the cabin. Oh God, it was him…I can not accept that I will see him again this bad. I’ve long to see him again but not like this. That pain…I feel that pain again he gave me 13 years ago.I held the guitar and begin to sing as I look into his eyes. The song that we sang the day he told me he love me, “Paglisan”Just before I finish the song, a woman held my shoulder. “It was you…” she whispered.“Do you know why he died? He was killed by his wife because of too much jealous.” And after that she kill herself but failed to do it, she’s in the hospital right now and the doctor said she’s doing fine.”“But why me? Vincent didn’t love me that much. We parted our ways and he didn’t even search for me.”“You’re wrong, all his life, he loved no one else but you. He really regrets the day he loosed you. He tried to find you but he failed until he met his wife. He tried his best to love her but heart can’t really teach even by its owner. He always plays his guitar and sings the song you just sing that’s why I knew you.It breaks my heart to hear that but what can I do. He’s gone…gone forever and I already accept that and until now he’s still breaking my heart…Vincent, the first man who broke and still breaking my heart.Now only one question left in my heart…when can we sing this song together again? When can I hear you play that guitar again…When? Kristine Suba Dantes April 27, 2008
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