3
January
2008

By Candace Czarny

The odds are good that you have seen those people who seem to
magically draw people to them. They always seem to have a date
or someone who wants to date them. You’re not alone. Many
people feel like everyone else is more successful in love than
they are. It has less to do with physical appearance, your
bank account, and being outgoing than you would think. It’s
often more about using the positive energy in your life to
fulfill every aspect of your life including the romantic
element.

You are probably wondering what all of this energy talk is all
about. You have heard of the ancient Chinese philosophy of
Feng Shui. It revolves around the concept of creating a space,
your home, that encourages the flow of positive chi. It affects
every aspect of your life in a good way if done correctly.
This isn’t to say that every person with a successful love life
uses Feng Shui, but it certainly won’t hurt to encourage some
good vibes to come your way in the love department. After all,
we all want to become a magnet for love.

So how does one go about using Feng Shui to become a love
magnet? The first step is pretty unexciting, but it does get
better. You will need to focus on the bedroom since you are
looking for romantic love. Cleaning the room from top to
bottom is an essential step that can’t be overlooked. Just
because no one gets into your closet or looks under the bed
doesn’t mean you can ignore those areas. They are important
too. Get rid of things you no longer use or need. They create
a hindrance to the flow of good energy. While you are clearing
things out that you don’t need, this is also a good time to get
rid of any reminders of old flames. You don’t want that past
energy infecting any future or current relationship. If you
don’t want to throw them out at least get them out of the
bedroom. Make space for your new love interest in the closet,
leaving some hangers empty and clear out a drawer of the
dresser. This will encourage the arrival of someone new.

Now that all of the things left behind from your old love life
is out of the room and you have a clean slate to start with,
take a good hard look at your bed. With any kind of luck, your
bed is no larger than a queen. A king sized bed is a hindrance
to the natural intimacy that you are looking for. With the
correct sized bed in place, you are well on your way to using
Feng Shui to become a love magnet of huge proportions, or at
least to the proportion that will find you a significant other.
Consider the placement of the bed in the room as well. There
should be room to walk on either side of it. If not, it isn’t
very welcoming to a new lover and the positive energy will be
less efficient at moving about the space.

Still dealing with the bed, your choice of bedding is very
important in regards to Feng Shui as well. Just like every
book or article you have ever read about love and finding Mr.
or Ms. Right says, your bedding should reflect your desire for
intimacy and romance. Think about using satins, silks, or a
high quality all cotton sheet set that invites touching and
romance. Of equal importance, you should also look for a
comforter that is soft and comfortable to lounge on.

The color of your decor is vitally important as well. Without looking
like a product of Hallmark, you can create a romantic look that
still fits in with your personal style. If pink, white, and red
aren’t your idea of good decorating colors, try using them as
accents or in different tones, like salmon or coral. Make your
bedroom a haven even when it is just you in it. Use plenty of
throw pillows on the bed to create the perfect place for
relaxation. The rest, and the new partner, are sure to follow
soon with all of the positive energy you have created.

Another thing to remember when you explore the new world of
Feng Shui and becoming a love magnet is to pay attention to the
photos you display in your bedroom. Keep pictures of the kids
or other family members in another room. There isn’t anything
sexy about children’s pictures or photos of dear old mom and
dad. Place those in the living or family rooms. Instead
display paintings and prints of happy couples or inviting
scenery. It is important to always have artwork depicting two
items.

Feng Shui can help you turn into a love magnet in no time.
Before you know it, you’ll be looking to this ancient practice
to further enhance your new found relationship.

About The Author:

Candace Czarny, ASID,CFM,LEED AP, “Award Winning” Interior Designer Feng Shui Expert is continually ranked Top 10 in Google and Yahoo. Clients testify of dramatic results!


3
January
2008

By Christina Rowe

When the ink has dried on your divorce papers, and the dust
finally starts to settle, you will find yourself facing an
entirely new set of problems. Now you are alone with your
responsibilities. The scheduling of your life is different, and
probably more difficult.

If your husband is limited to brief visitation rights, then the
day-to-day responsibility for your kids is now completely yours.
Even if your spouse has your children part of the time, you will
discover that you are more limited. If your ex did anything at
all around the house you will now have to do it yourself. If he
did any of the family bookkeeping, or helped the kids with
schoolwork, or took them here or there, that service is no
longer available.You have a household. Once there were two
people who could take on the duty of running it. Now there’s
one.

You will probably begin to see this happening from the start.
During your divorce these things present themselves. But in
some ways they aren’t as obvious then. This is partly due to
the incredible turmoil you are already facing. There may also
be other factors disguising the truth. Your friends and family
knew what you were going through while the battle was still
raging. Often some of them stepped up to bat, and helped in so
many ways. Your best friend drove your boy to sports practice
through an entire season, and maybe your sister took your
daughter to shop for clothes. But that was when your days were
endless cycles of lawyers, court dates, and searching for
records. Now life is supposed to be normal.

The only problem with that is the workload: it seems to be
permanently bigger.

In most cases the ex-spouse should be of help, but there are
almost always problems and disagreements. Most likely these
will last as long as your children are still underage and a
shared responsibility. How much support and help your ex is
giving you with the kids is usually a measure of your sanity.
I’ve had my own problems with this, as does nearly every parent
who keeps custody most of the time. My ex-husband’s mandated
times with the kids only cover a couple of weekends and some
weekday evenings each month. Often the evenings simply don’t
happen.

Many divorced parents face the same dilemma: doubled
responsibility not only for kids, but for shopping, cleaning,
paying the bills, taking care of the pets, doing the laundry,
and the list goes on and on!

Being a single parent is no easy task. For each of us the new
responsibilities take different forms. When they are still
together most parents gradually take on some aspects of the
good cop/bad cop relationship with their kids. Sometimes dad is
the one who is judge and jury, while mom seems willing to
listen. Or those roles might be reversed. Maybe your ex-spouse
was the disciplinarian; while you were the sympathetic one they
could always come to. Whatever role you played before, now you
must be both. If your boy gets in a fight, or your daughter
mistreats a schoolmate, you have to dole out the punishment.
Yet, if there were extenuating circumstances, you also have to
understand. How can a person do both? It seems almost
impossible.

This is aggravated even more by the divorce. A split inevitably
sets up a competitive situation. In a conflict people always
look for allies, and in a divorce both parents want the kids to
be on their respective sides. This doesn’t end with the decree.

If dad was once the disciplinarian, but now only sees the kids
for a few days a month, he’s likely to be much less help when
they do something wrong. He’ll want his house to be the place
where they have fun. At the same time, mom is going to get
tired of always being the one to give punishments. She doesn’t
want her children to hate her. This often turns into a
competition for affection that can only hurt the children.

What every parent in a divorce must learn is that their
children still have the same needs they had before the divorce.
That means they need the adults in their lives to take on adult
responsibilities. For instance, if you are about to leave your
children off at your spouse’s, don’t work extra hard to leave
the best impression. There’s no need to make your last stop one
at a fast food joint where you fill them full of sugar and empty
calories. Instead, just make them understand that you love them,
and are concerned with their well being in every way. Ease them
into the transition by assuring them of their place in your
life, while helping them see that they still have that place in
your spouse’s life as well.

If your spouse doesn’t cooperate, try to resolve it when the
kids aren’t there. Do all you can to make sure that the facts
of custody are not rules of engagement, but rather are simply a
structure for your children’s benefit. If you and your spouse
still have lingering differences in this area, the best way to
help your cause is to simply be the best parent you can be.

But whatever your arrangement is with your ex-spouse, life
can’t help but be more difficult alone. So what do you do in
the face of overwhelming odds, and the seemingly inevitable
nervous breakdown?

First, remember you are not alone. There are millions of single
parents out there facing the same thing you are. You probably
know other mothers (and/or fathers) who are, or have been, in
the same situation. Don’t be afraid about turning to them now.
They may know things you don’t, and if not, they can always
lend a hand, or at least some sympathy.

Others who have gone through the same thing will realize what
pressure you are under. This isn’t simply a matter of finances
(though that issue usually has a lot to do with it). You are
now the one that your children come to every day of the week.
They need you desperately for their own sense of security,
especially after their world has been turned upside down from
divorce. You are the one who picks up after them, feeds them,
and gives them allowances. You are the one who talks to their
friends’ mothers and fathers. You get the call from school. You
talk to their teachers. You are the first one to hear about
bills for education and health. If your children are about to
go to college, you are the one they talk to about those
possibilities.
If you are the parent they stay with most nights, and you are
the parent they see in the morning before they go to school,
then you are simply the one.

Because it used to be different, because there used to be two
of you, and because there used to be two parental roles being
played in this house, you now have to learn something new. Now
you must develop some skills you never needed before. If you
can do what is necessary you’ll find that this new order isn’t
that scary. If you can adapt, you will not only survive, but
thrive. A new exciting life is just around the corner. Your job
is to figure out how to keep from getting so exhausted that
“just around the corner” turns out to be an impossible distance
to cover.

Your job as a newly single parent may not be easy, but it in
time you will adjust, fall into a routine and discover a new
found strength you never thought you had.

About The Author:

Christina Rowe is the best selling author of
Seven Secrets To A Successful Divorce-What Every Woman Needs
To Know
. Find out the survival skills that will save you time,
money and heartache during your divorce. For your free chapter
of the book, visit the link above.