Then one day, I went into the Canadian chat room. I typed the question, "Any ladies from Alberta wanna chat?" I got a reply from someone who asked if Ontario was ok. I said sure. We ended up talking for about 3 hours. Then did the same thing for about a week....then she had to work. This went on for about 2 months. 

I had expressed that I had started having feelings for her, but was extremely afraid that it would scare her off. She never left, and I had explained to her that saying the words I love you takes a lot from me because I never say it unless I truly mean it.

We talked for quite a while before I actually said that I loved her. She was kind of shocked, but she at the same time was feeling a lot of emotion. After a while...like a couple weeks, she had told me the same thing. We arranged to meet and everything. Then a couple months down the road, I being the idiot got scared. There were times when we wouldn't say much to each other.....and I had told her that I was scared that things might not work. She got upset, but never left my side through all that. Then one day, we totally lost contact. I emailed her.....I sent her a postal mail.....everything. I never got a reply. 

It was the hardest time I ever felt. That was last year......this year in September, I got a message from someone asking if I remembered them. It was her. We talked for about 2 hours when she first messaged me......but I was given some news. She had told me that she was married. It hit me and made me feel a lot of regret. I told her how much regret I was feeling and we talked for a long time about it, and I still do feel regret. 2 nights ago, we had a long talk......4 hour talk. We talked about the past.....about how the baby she's having could have been mine. 

About how our feelings for each other have not changed at all......about our future. She wants me to move out to Ontario because she wants to be with me....I know how I feel, and I would love that very much. I want her to decide for herself...I am not pushing her into any decisions....I am letting her make up her own mind because I am not going to stand between her and what she wants. Anyway she wants things, I will support her because I do love her.......and I always will. 

"Shawn"