I'm 17 years old now and I have lived my life in betrayal, and hate. I was 13 when I went to a party with a so called Best Friend. Well, had gotten along real well, and I thought I could trust him. Well, he got me drunk, and then did the unthinkable. Yes... I was raped. I never told anyone, not even my mom, and that was a bad decision. I didn't want anyone to know about it because of fear of rejection. So I thought to myself I could never love another guy. Well, 8 months went by and I found this guy online. His name was Dennis, he was the most sweet and kind person. I fell in love and he came up here to see me that Spring. 

He told me that he loved me and nothing in this world would ever come between me and him. Well, being like a fool I believed him. So much so that I had sex with him. And the next day he was packing his bags and I asked him why. He told me that he never loved me and that he only come up here to see my best friend. That she was more beautiful than I and he left on that account. I cried for about two weeks. Then a guy named Joe came into my life. We had always been friends, and then he got in some trouble, and had to leave. Well, the next day I found my dad sleeping with another woman, and that just tore me to pieces. I couldn't take it anymore. So I went online to tell all my friends good-bye. That my life sucked and I wanted to end it. 

With the gun in my hand, I had written a letter to my family that I loved them, and told them the whole story behind me killing myself. I went to pull the trigger and a message popped up on my screen. I thought I would be nice and tell them that I was busy. He said that I could never be too busy to talk, so I told him my whole story. He explained that killing myself was not a very good idea, and that I would find the Special Someone in my life that would make everything better. I decided from that day on that I would live for him and him only. We started talking and talking turned into love. I loved him so much. We had dated for 3 years, and never had our downs. Everything was so wonderful. He had asked me to marry him, and I told him that nothing in this world would stop me from doing so. On January 2, 2001 he wrote me an email telling me that he could never love me the same way I loved him. And that tore me apart. I cried, and cried. I have lost the one that I was living for, the light of my life. And now he is gone. So I wrote him and told him goodbye. And that I was never going to be here on Earth again. 

In the middle of write this letter to him, I received an IM. And it just hit me, that every time I tried killing myself, someone or something has always stopped me. I have found the new love of my life. And everything has seemed to go right. My grades have improved, and I now wear a smile on my face. I would like to thank that very special man in my life, his name is Matt. I love him so much. He brings out the best in me. Before I end this little story of my life, I just want to say to those out there that are reading this. If your life seems down and you try to commit suicide, remember all the loved ones that you will leave behind. Remember all the friends that you will hurt. 
Thank you for listening to what I have to say. I thank God that I have so many people that love me. that's why I'm still here today.

"Lisa"