Sarah and Greg: After
having received a new computer for Christmas I logged onto a Christian
dating service. A friend of mine had dared me to, and since I can't say no
to a dare... >> Continued
She's From: United States He's From: United States
Once upon a time I met a man. The most
incredible man ever.
We met in a way that most don't approve of,
but we fell in love on AOL.
Both Liju and I were chatting. All of the
sudden he IM's me, we talked about private things. Things i would tell
no one else. Then things started to get a little out of hand. A little
cybersex here and there...he told me that it would go down in his books
as a night to remember. You know those little instant kiss things aol
has, he wrote "I love you". I freaked out for some god knows why reason.
Thought he was an arrogant jerk and decided to put him on block. He IM's
me again a few days later. I take it as fate because either my block
didn't work...or god was trying to tell me something. We talked on line
for a while. I found out by one of his friends that he liked me bunches.
So when he asked me to be his girl.
I said "yes". I was falling for him majorly. We talked on-line for a
while...sooner or later we both wanted to hear each others voices. He
had the sexiest voice.. the kind that makes your pulse quicken when he
says hello. We talked for hours. Not getting off the phone until the sun
came up. Saying we had our own hours..and our own days...nothing could
touch them. We talked about meeting. Im in Va and he is in NY so its a 9
and a half hour drive. The first attempt was a bust. Almost a year and a
half later it was finally happening...June of 2000 we met. I met Liju.
This person who knew me, loved me, sheltered me, new all my secrets good
and bad. He sat in a holiday inn chair holding a poster he bought for me
and i just knew it was him. We said our hi's and gave each other hugs
and i knew that he was the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life
with. I thought about kissing him the whole time we were together...on
the subway he held me close, just knowing i was near him was good enough
to send me day dreaming. to him i could smell his cologne. I just stood
there smelling his chest like a dork. ;o) Our first kiss was in a movie
theater, watching dinosaur. Telling each other how much we loved each
other. Eating dinner in the Marriot...stealing glimpses at each other.
Everything was perfect. We made love. I felt so much a part of him. The
look in his eyes made me want to cry. I was so happy. I needed him,
wanted him, loved him.
When I went home..he got a job. He was busy. over less than a month our
late night conversations died. I missed him so much. I started to get
upset because he wasn't spending anytime with me at all. He said he
loved me. I believed him. I tried telling him i wanted to end it.
Thinking he would realize how much he loved me and wanted to be with me.
Guess my little plan backfired..days on end passed. No word from him. I
started to miss him to the point that it hurt. I had the feeling i was
pregnant...Liju and i discussed it. He didn't want to be a father so i
told him he wasn't. The first lie i ever told him. I wanted him to stay
with me by my side. I loved him so much.
One night he calls me and says that he cant do it anymore... I asked him
if he still loved me and he wouldn't answer. I cussed him out. I wanted
to hurt him just as he hurt me. Break his heart like he broke mine. I
screamed...I didn't take the pregnancy test. I have cheated on you three
times. I despise cheaters. I would never cheat.
But that was the thing i knew would hurt him the most. The next day i
wrote him an e-mail. Explaining what I had said. I went to the doctors
got a blood test. Positive. I'm carrying his child. He doesn't love me
anymore. I don't know where we went wrong. I love him so much and always
will. We are "friends" now. Even though i want to scream out how much i
love him. Tell him i would do anything for him. Every time i talk to him
on-line i wish he would just say "Baby, I love you. Lets start over."
Impossible wishes.
Liju...Please...give me another chance. Lets try to make it work. Thanks
for listening.