He was just getting over a relationship also. We really hit it off, typing the same thing. We both had the same sense of humor (kinda nasty at times :) We talked every afternoon for hours. We grew closer and closer. One day he typed the words I was longing to hear, " I love you". My reaction was to tell him not to say this, even though my heart was ready to explode. See, I am married and I knew I was falling and falling hard for Donnie. We continued to talk daily and I can't believe how close we had become. Finally we decided we should take things to the next level... the PHONE!!! I was soooo nervous! 

Well our first phone conversation occurred late at night. I was shaking so bad I could hardly talk!! I went in my basement and called his number and heard his voice for the first time, I ALMOST DIED!! "Hey, whad'ya doin", he said. I loved his voice. That's all I could manage to say or should I say whisper was, " I can't really talk right now" my hubby was home, and he said " I know, its ok." I will never forget that night. I was so in love with this man from Ohio. Over the next few months, we continued to talk on here and the phone. He teased me about my Minnesota accent. I don't think I have one by the way. I teased him about his New York sounding accent ( I think its the Italian in him). I was on cloud 9. I loved this man with everything I had. We had our share of ups and downs. I think we were both frustrated with not being able to be with one another. He was jealous of my husband, I was jealous of him seeing other girls. After talking for about a year. We decided to meet. We had talked about this all the time, wondering what it would be like to finally kiss, to finally hold one another. 

One morning I signed on to read my email and there was an email from him with flight info, he was coming to see me!!!!! At first I was scared. Was I really ready to cheat on my husband of 7 years? Could I do it? My husband and I were growing further and further apart each day. We were just existing. I loved Donnie and realized I would hate myself forever if I didn't meet him. Two days before he was coming to see me I dropped my humidifier full of water on my foot and broke my toe, OUCH!!! :( I felt I had ruined everything. He said it didn't matter to him. Well, I couldn't drive and he had to rent a car. Our plans were that he was going to call me from his cell phone when he was near my house. Well I got the call and I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke~YUCK! He picked me up and I felt sooo shy. I could hardly even look at him. I couldn't believe the man I had talked to on the phone and online was sitting right next to me in the car!! I was in shock!! 

Well the first few minutes were super awkward. We decided to head to his hotel so he could check in. On the way there he reached over and touched my hand because I was still feeling really uncomfortable. We got to the hotel and he asked me if I wanted to go with him inside, I did. He got all checked in. We went back to the car and he opened the door for me. When we got inside he asked me if he could kiss me, how sweet!!

Well we kissed and it was very passionate. After all the months of wanting this, the moment had finally arrived!! Needless to say, we went to his hotel room and made passionate love for the first time. How wonderful it felt to have this man hold me in his arms. To look into his eyes. I felt such a strong connection. Well, we saw each other for 2 days and ended up getting into a fight. He got a call on his cell phone and I could tell by how he was talking that it was a girl. I blew up at him and wouldn't talk and slammed the car door when he drove me home. 

I know, pretty immature. Well we didn't talk again until he got back home, 2 days later. He didn't even call to say goodbye. My heart was broken. I cried and cried. I signed on and he was there, he im'd me right away and apologised for not saying goodbye and how much he loved me. He said he was angry with me because I acted like a little kid. Of course I let him back in. We continued to talk online and the phone. We talked all the time about seeing each other again. He has hurt me many times and I have always let him back in. We have had a lot of ups and downs. I have said goodbye to him many times and always regretting it. 

Well I did something stupid tonight. There's a guy on here who is always bugging me and I told Donnie about him. Well donnie emails him a nasty email and it starts a fight between them. Its a long story. Anyway, I just ended it with him tonight. This time I think it was truly the end. He was mad at me and when he is mad, he ignores me until he cools down. I im'd him and he wouldn't respond. Well I was feeling an odd mixture of guilt, because I am married and hurt, feeling like I wasn't as important to him as I used to be. And so I thought I would hurt him by writing him an email saying goodbye and that I was deleting my screen name. I signed it, I will always miss you, Jenny. 

I am having regrets now. I created a new account with my screen name and then called AOL and had them delete it and there's no way to bring it back. I just want Donnie to know he will always be in my heart and I will never forget him. I only wish things were different. I don't want to be enemies with him and I was feeling like we were starting to hate each other. Both frustrated at the situation of not being able to be with one another. 

Please, please Donnie, don't forget me and know that I do love you. The time we had together is something only you and I share. You know how to reach me. 
Love "booger". 

"Jenny"