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When I said that, a very good man from Portugal (Luis)
said that nobody is the same way..so we began talking and talking more
on the instant messenger, but on june the 16th I had to go to a trip to
Cancun Mexico for a whole week. I thought I felled in love with him, he
was so nice, so sweet, we always shared cyber kisses and all that. But
that should of had an end.
We were talking real nice, when I was
going to go to my trip to Mexico I e-mailed him saying that I had to go
now, and that I would be back on a week, that I miss him, and that I
hope we would get together one day. So, I went to my trip, I didn't had
any access to a computer, I was very frustrated during the trip cause I
was just thinking about him, I didn't enjoyed the trip, I missed him so
much, I was desperate to go back to my texas' home so that I could look
at my e-mail and see if he wrote to me. So, he did wrote to me saying
that he miss me too, and that he would look for me after, but e-mailed
me on the same day that I went on that trip. So like u know the portugal
hours are very diff, when it was 6 on the morning here, overthere was 12
noon...so I decided to get up everyday at 6:00 in the morning so I could
talk to him, but he never appeared, I e-mailed him so many times and he
never responded back...one day I got tired and just forgot about it
cause I didn't had other choice, so that was the past.
Well..then later the summer finished..I felt very lonely and I decided
to place an ad on AOL..once I get to 18...my birthday was on july 24 and
I decided to publish it that day. So I placed a picture there and said a
lot of stuff about myself, my interests, my music, and how do I want my
match, but the picture never appeared on the ad....I waited for more
than 3 weeks..when I decided to send the picture again so that they
could place it with the ad. In three days the picture and the ad
together were published...so on August 22nd suddenly a man (Bret)from
dallas TX..(about 10 hours drive way from me, who is 33) wrote to me
descriving his music, what he likes to do..his age, where he lives, what
does he do, where have he traveled, his family and all that along with
his picture. Once I read that response I felt something very special for
him...and he so handsome, I felled in love when I saw his picture. So I
wrote him back also telling him more stuff about me, and we began
talking on the instant messenger. Until I was noticing that he was
always busy, he was always leaving me hanging because he had to go to
his sister's house, he always invented excuses why he couldn't be online
when he tried to meet me there.
And he was so insecure about the age, and about the distance. He said
that he's too old, and that he's too far..although he continued chatting
with me cause he thought that I was a great person who's so beautiful
and who had a lot to offer to someone..and very interesting. So..we talk
a lot sometimes..but most of the time he was always busy..during the
third week and thereafter, we just talked once a week for about an hour
and half...and I didn't like that cause he could of called me at
home...but he never did. Well.one day we planned on meeting in
thanksgiving (nov 23, 00)..the last time we talked....but then on
wednesday from the other week he wrote to me an e-mail saying:.."christy,
I am so sorry, I just thought it was better to do it this way, I know u
are a great person and that you are going to find the one soon, you are
very special and have a lot to offer to someone but I just don't think I
am the one, I am scared about the age difference. I do have a special
place in my heart for u..but I think u can do better with someone who's
younger and who lives closer to you, if you ever come to dallas I would
love to have lunch with you, I would always be thinking about you,
Bret"...that was how he expressed..I felt so sad because we made so many
plans..he even thought about having babies..and everything...until he
wrote to me that e-mail...I felt the worst thing on my life that I even
wanted to kill myself cause life isn't worthy.
Then I wrote to him e-mails saying that this is not fair...and we talked
and argued a lot once after he wrote that e-mail to me..and he decided
to give it a shot, and to get to know each other in person and take it
from there. So I was very happy that day...the days were passing
through..and he never wrote to me again. Once I was very sad cause he
never wrote to me I decided to go chatting on a chat..and I met a very
special friend (Adam)from australia..(I usually wouldn't had chatted
with someone that far..but he was very interesting..and I didn't asked
for his place until the end..so we exchanged e-mails..pics..and put each
other on the messenger's list) I began telling him all my
problems..shared my thoughts..and deceptions and we became just very
good friends. 2 weeks passed by until I was wondering what happened to
Bret..
So i decided to call him at the company. I asked for him and the one who
answer the phone pass it to him...he said "hello, this is Bret"....and I
said "hello I am Christy"..so as soon as he heard that I am Christy and
just heard my voice..he hanged up real bad..but I didn't give up..so I
called him again and the one who answered the phone said that he was
real busy on a meeting with recruiters. SO after that I was thinking
that maybe he hanged up to me because he couldn't talk..and I
understood. So I tried to call him the next day once I got back from
school I dialed the number and a man answered..I am sure he was that
one..and as soon as he heard my voice he hanged up again..and then I
called him again and he hanged up again..so I felt so bad..and decided
that he wasn't worthy..that he was just a stupid jerk who didn't deserve
someone as me to cry for him.
So...I told my Aussie friend, Adam, about all that..and he was always
very sweet..very caring..very understanding that he captured my heart. I
told him all my problems about this guy, and he said that he's not
worthy..that i deserve someone who will always love me for who I
am..that won't care about distance and age..someone who will be very
secure about himself. and someone who will always try to make me happy.
We talked for so much until he said "I love u"..and I said "yeah
right"..and he said "yeah I do..I am serious..I like the way you are
because you are very sweet, very romantic..and you care more for others
than for yourself"..so I felt something special when Adam said that. I
told him that I didn't wanted to try because he lives on the side of the
world..Australia and I live on the USA and it would be so hard to meet
one day..but he said that nothing is impossible. I was very afraid of
trying again because of what had happened to me..but then I said..I
don't think that everyone is the same way..I believe everyone is
diff..and he showed to be a very special guy who's just irresistible.
So..I always like him when I was talking to the jerk from dallas..but I
didn't realize how special he is..it was just that he told me that he
met a girl who lived only 10 hours away from him on his same
country..and that he never wrote to her because he thought it would of
be too hard to see each other. So I said..if he didn't wanted to try
with her who only lived about 10 hours drive way..so i said then I am
lost, I don't have any chance. But then he said that he never thought he
would feel something special for me..it just happened. So right now we
are talking real nice..I don't want to make any plans with him because
of what happened with the other guys.. I am just going to take it as it
comes..pray..so that god would help me..and be careful, honest and sweet
all the time. Those are the keys to success.
Right now I hope that everything goes ok with him cause I wouldn't stand
another deception again. He seems to be great..cause he came into my
life when I needed him the most..he's always there when I need him..he's
so sweet..so romantic..very understanding and very secure about what he
wants. I always say that we shouldn't worry about the future but pray
about it..and let it god guide us. Now I just hope this continues. He
has an investment and he is going to come to see me soon if it's god's
will as soon as that investment comes out..and I hope that everything
will go ok. I had two bad internet experiences..and this one is the
third one and the last one. I am just going to trust him and let's see
what happens. Maybe one day if we both fall in love I will move to
australia because I love it..or he will come to the usa to stay with me.
But I am going to try not to feel those emotions very soon although it's
so hard not to feel them for such a cute and understand guy..but I will
try..get to know each other in person first..and take it from there.
Bye..and thanks again.
"Christy"
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