It runs in the family - ill-fated but wonderful words. My mother met the love of her life on the internet, my brother moves to be with his love in around four weeks, and I go to meet what may become the love of my life in 8 weeks.

I am married - very unhappily - and turned to the internet for companionship which I did not find with my new husband.

We had been living together for less than a year - we moved in together four days before the birth of our son. I leave my husband - it is a matter of days - I have the flat - just have to await the keys and such scant furniture as I need.

Internet - I found I was chatting to up to a dozen people a day whilst my son slept. Now - I am going to keep his name out of this and call him eeyore for that is pretty much his chat handle in yahoo - he has two - eyore is the one he uses to hide under - but he talks to me via both. Mine is jaq. No I am not giving full names cuz he doesn't know the depth of my attraction - just yet. I didn't start chatting to eeyore until April or so of 2001. This year. I declared most boldly in one of the Aussie chat rooms that I knew lots of useless information so this person started quizzing me.

He was from New Zealand and all I knew was that I couldn't answer his questions - my useless information wasn't the same as his. He complimented me on my intelligence though and added me as a friend. I didn't see him around much. However, that being said - whenever he was around he would chat to me - and we discovered that we shared a lot of similarities in outlook and food. Food and I have an interesting and somewhat passionate relationship. To find someone who dislikes and likes the same things as me - and I am willing to learn to eat olives - is incredible.

I found myself fading from the chat room whenever eeyore was around - oh if he finds this he is going to know it is me anyway - Gareth - and I am Catherine aka Cat. I found myself leaving the chat room whenever Gareth appeared - and soon it got to the stage that if he was online I would only talk to him. I still go online a lot - I have lots of online friends I keep in touch with. I chat to some of them only in the evenings, others only on weekends. They are great friends and I am hoping to meet most of them, but Gareth is the one who has captured more than just my conversation. We have not been able to explain the attraction - it swings between the physical and the intellectual - and for me - it is more fulfilling than any I have hitherto known. I am a writer, and part-time student and full-time mother. He is a writer, sports journalist, and photographer. We both play with words and seek the same things. We also share the same thoughts so often it is frightening. 

We may not have declared that what we feel is love - but we have admitted that the attraction is deep, and almost inexplicable. Although our meeting is 8 weeks away - I am going to New Zealand to see him - it is only a 3.5 hour flight - and I am staying a week - my son is staying with his father during that time. It is an opportunity for a holiday and a chance to see just where this attraction will go. It may seem like love for me - but I don't know if I am going to call it love just yet - I do know though that seeing him shall confirm my hopes or my fears. It will either be a match made in heaven - or a discovery that it is only friendship. Either way I cannot complain because he truly is my best friend.

What I find truly astonishing is that both my mother and brother have done the same - except they travelled further for their loves - and I - I am remaining cautious for it is a delicate thing - too much rough handling might break it regardless of the strength of the branch. (We speak in metaphors more often than not finding comfort in the fact that we can hide behind words and understand their meaning).

Well - I guess I want to say this - I have hope - your site helped flourish that hope. In spite of all the sad and unhappy stories - the happy stories give me courage. I shall be sure to email you after my trip to New Zealand - I mean 8 weeks isn't far away - it is my birthday present to myself - I turn 24 on November 1. Alas I shan't be there to celebrate Gareth's 26th birthday just 25 days later - but he is planning his holiday after Christmas.

As for what comes in the future - I shall not speculate - I can only act on the present - and would not exchange the uncertain future for anything.

Thank you for your site - thank you a thousand times.

"Cat"