I have been in love before but never like I am now. I sit and day dream about the day I will finally get to meet her but for some reason I don't think it will happen I think I
totally dropped all my marbles into a bowl that in time will just get flipped
over. I am talking to her right now in IM's and its not looking to good. 

I know she loves me to death I can feel her heart and I'm over 3000 miles away
from her I can feel her pain when she is feeling down I love her so much I
don't really think she knows the full extent.

She says she knows how much I love her but I still feel as though its not reaching her. When we fight I feel a piece of my heart ripping away and tearing down my stable foundation I thought at one point we had. I don't feel the foundation is so sturdy now I
feel a tilt in the home we once build on the foundation. I am starting to
feel as its all slipping away. At one point we had a relationship where we
always talked out our problems but now I see walls all the time. Its an on
going process and maybe in time it will break and she will see my actions
showing her it hurts me when we argue I don't like arguing with the one thing
I love so much in my life. I told her tonight that their are 2 females in my
life that keep me looking forward and that's my niece and her and I told her
I wanted her to be the one that walks through life with me I had it all
planned out when she got here how I was going to ask her to marry me and who
will all be around I'm not going to say because I'm hoping and praying that we
will get through this.

I as a person didn't believe in God totally but their has to be one because
she is an angel sent from up above there is no way that she cant be. I am a
very hard person to figure out and she broke my walls down like they were
glass all she had to do was get a hammer or a stone and bang there they go. I
want for things to be like they were last week when she was all excited and
couldn't calm down because it was 10 more days until we held each other in
our arms. I still want that so bad I would fly to her but I'm afraid I would
be left there standing alone at the airport. I don't know what to do I'm
honestly at a dead stop because I'm afraid of getting my heart ripped out of
my chest...yeah she has it but all she has to do is drop it and step on it. I
know she isn't that cold but hell who knows it might happen. As much as I do
love her who's to say that if she does chose not to come she wont just rip it
out like that? I love this woman with everything I have I love everything
about her. There isn't one flaw I can find about her she is everything I have
ever dreamed of in my life as a person and as a dreamer. So for those that do
read this just keep this in mind...

"Love is an addiction sometimes good sometimes sad..
Love is a feeling you get when things are going great..
Love is also something you feel when things are going bad..
Love is in my heart and oh so very true..
Love is the one thing I think about when I think of you..
Love is something that is so powerful and true..
Love also makes you think why wont she talk to you..
Love is something I'll do till death do us part..
Love is something I would share with you from the very start..
Love for you will go past the end of time..
Love I will say this forever because I still hope you will be mine..
Love is a word that justifies how I feel about you..
Love well guess what sweetie... I Love You........."

You see any man can speak beautiful things to a woman but it takes a real
man to speak them from the heart and show them. Those that find themselves in
love create a path as I do for this very special lady in my life and if she
will take my hand I will be happy to show her the way through life.....I love
you sweetie you know who you are... I'm going to end this letter for all those
out there on the net that do find true romance there isn't enough money in
the world to pay her or buy her beautiful things I just need time as all you
will see time is what makes a relationship work so just be patient it will
all happen.

"Sweet Guy"

>> Continued in Part Two