Looking for some laughter and perhaps a couple of new people to add to my buddy list...I STRUCK GOLD!! As I entered the room I noticed that there were two guys (Suger and Major) that were making the room go absolutely nuts! As I sat back and watched the screen..I just couldn't stop laughing! I thought to myself, these guys are soooo funny!! Naturally, I couldn't help but to join in on the fun. Instantly..I was stunned by the humor and charm of these guys. However, from the word "hello" I was swept away by the man they called Suger! After a couple of hours of non-stop laughing, There it was..the IM that changed my life! We proceeded to ask each other the basic questions. But, of course, being a chat room "newbie" I was afraid to be totally honest with him...Later to find out, he wasn't quite so honest either!

Anyway..later that night, we had decided that we would, in fact, talk again the following night. 

After we had signed off, I found myself filled with thoughts of him--I was absolutely restless! I couldn't help but ask myself~~What's wrong with me?? Why can't I get a "stranger" out of my mind? When I woke up the next morning, my first thought of the day was of him- and was so full of guilt that I had lied to him-I knew from that moment... this man was someone special! It seemed as though the day just couldn't go by fast enough for me--I was so anxious to talk to him again! Later that night..when we signed on..I immediately proceeded to blurt out my "AOL confessions"! Terrified at the fact that he may never talk to me again...I confessed the BIG one...I was married!! It took a minute for him to respond, so naturally I thought..this was it :o( But...in return...he was telling me that he was married too!! From that moment.. we had decided that we would always tell the truth!! Well amazingly enough, we made through the "session of confession" and was still quite content with chatting with one another! Before I knew it, a few months had gone by and we were still meeting here almost every night! Needless to say... I was falling very much in love with him!

Not knowing how to deal with these feelings, I felt as though--I had to tell him.. BIG mistake!!! When I told him how I felt...he said to me... if you're looking for a man to come and take you away, then you're looking in the wrong place! He told me that AOL was pure fantasy and had nothing to do with reality!! OMG--I was so devastated!! I felt at that moment that I had no choice other than to never talk to him again! I didn't think that I was strong enough to just be his friend and nothing more! That night, when we signed off~~ All I could do was lay in my bed, hold my pillow and cry! I couldn't think of spending one day of life without him--but I also couldn't bear that fact that--we'd never be "together"! I thought long and hard and decided that--I loved him too much to just let him go-if the only way he could be a part of my life was as a friend--then I'd learn to except that! As long as he was happy--then I could learn to deal with it! Needless to say...we kept right on chatting almost every night!

One night while we were talking--The words...I LOVE U came up on the screen---OMG, tears started rolling down my face!! I couldn't believe it!!! I was so happy. From that moment on--it has just continued to get better and better. Needless to say... we are still chatting here almost every night and we have now started talking on the phone! I can honestly say...I am so in love with him. He has became "my world". I honestly believe that he was put upon this earth to be by my side. We are so much alike that it's almost scary~~ I just can't get enough of him!!--I must say that--we have overcome a lot of obstacles already--However, the distance between us is yet- one more challenge that we must face.

Finally meeting him will be a dream come true for me but.. the thought of having to leave his side to return home, just breaks my heart. I couldn't imagine ever having him in my reach and then letting him go. I can say this..I pray every night that one day..I will get the opportunity to look in his eyes and tell him what he means to me. I don't really know, if he quite understands the impact that he's made on my life--but,I do know that, I believe in fate!...

I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT WE WERE BROUGHT TOGETHER FOR A REASON. I love you baby-- with all the love in my heart!!

"Naughty Girl"