Nina:
It's strange how things happen... you
are trudging through the mundane weary lanes of life when suddenly,
out of nowhere, love walks in and touches your life in a way that you
know that nothing could ever be the same again...
>> Continued
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She's From: United States He's From: United States WOW! What a cool addition to the cyber world of full speed technology! A live action web camera! My father bought one a couple years ago so that he could see my brother during their long distance phone calls. |
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I had never dreamed the day would come so quickly that you could actually use them in chat rooms. I had been using the Internet for several years. My time there included building web sites, frequenting chat rooms, joining Internet communities, posting single's ads, and even answering a few ads that struck me as interesting or appealing. During my time on the Internet I have talked to literally hundreds of different people of all walks of life. Some interesting, and some quite scary. Interesting or scary, either way, I never took anyone on the Internet seriously, and most certainly NEVER had the desire to meet anyone that I had chatted with. Out of complete boredom, in early October, I found a chat room on Yahoo! where people were chatting on web cams and inviting anyone to view them. This is where my new cyber love adventure began! |
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The evening of my new discovery I met a really nice guy in the chat room
who allowed me to view him on his camera. We talked, joked, and
described the people that we were each viewing on cameras on our own
computers. My camera views included him but his did not include mine, as
I didn't have a camera (yet)! That evening was the most entertainment I
had gotten from the Internet in the whole 3 years that I had experienced
it. The man I had spoken to throughout the evening was a really nice
guy. He never veered from just normal, innocent Internet chat. By the
end of the night he had me convinced that I had to go buy myself a web
camera! So, several days later I bought one. When I arrived home with my new toy, I could not get it installed on my computer fast enough! That evening I entered the same chat room that I had been visiting previously so that I could then share my own web camera. After I entered the room I scrolled down the list of people that were there. The person that had convinced me to buy my own camera wasn't there, and I have not seen him again since the night we first spoke. Still, I was so intrigued with this new addition to cyber world. As I had done during my previous visits to this somewhat peculiar room, I clicked on each person that had a camera to see if they would let me view them. That is when I clicked on the camera that would very quickly invade my every waking and sleeping thought.... "Tall dark and handsome in PA huh?" I thought to myself as the image of him was sharpening on my screen. I was so happy to see that some men actually let you see their face on cam instead of close up views of random body parts. And he was very cute! Thinking that he looked about my age, I opened his profile to get some more details on him and possibly a clearer picture. His profile didn't have a picture of him on it, he had nothing listed for hobbies or interests, he was located about 7 hours from me, and he listed his age as 37, which is 3 years older than me. Also, he had no response to his marital status. So, here I was, curious about a man that was close to my age, yet lived too far away, probably married, and looking back at me through a tiny window on my computer and smiling as he told me how attractive he found me. I was so totally captivated by his every move and his every word that he was typing to me in our message box. This man was luring me to him very quickly. Something I had never experienced before was overwhelming me to the point of disbelief. I could not get enough of him, already! His very sweet words, and his mesmerizing mannerisms had me somewhere I had never been before, and will never forget. This first meeting finally came to an end at 4 am. "It's 4 am!!!" we both seemed to mention at the same time. We were so completely astonished at our new discovery that the time just ticked away without regard. The next day I could not remove the camera image of him from my mind. I spent most of the day reading our chat archives over and over again, wishing I could get another glimpse of him. Suddenly, there he was again, his face, his words, and his smile. Another late night interlude with my mysterious cyber friend was about to begin. After feeling lonely and saddened the moment I saw his name fade from my buddy list, I realized that something wasn't right. After all, how can this be? This emotionally involved with a man that I never met and most likely never will? Not possible! Trying to convince myself that I was beyond this silly cyber romance stuff, I took myself to bed. My mind was so engraved with thoughts of this mysterious person that I could not sleep for the first time in my life! After hours of lying in bed I decided to get up and write him and email. He replied to this email and talked about how confused he was and how hard he was, like me, trying to convince himself that this couldn't be real. Much to my surprise, I was quickly discovering that this man was going through similar physical and emotional turmoil as I was over this whole "chance meeting" that we had with each other. Now, as the days were passing, I had gotten screen captures of his web cam so I could peek at him during the day when I needed a reminder of the person that had me so fascinated. These little pictures of him soon became not enough. Not enough to fulfill my longing to reach out and touch him and hold him as close to my body as he felt in my heart. Then I got to speak to him on the phone. I found his voice to be just as enchanting as every other part of him that I had experienced. Listening to his voice, he suddenly became very real. Who was this man that had conquered the challenge that many men have attempted? The challenge of stealing my heart and allowing me to let down my emotional facade and feel the things I was feeling in my heart. Throughout the following days I had gone back and forth from "this isn't real and you are being silly" to the opposite extreme of "this is VERY real and you are in love". The moments of total exhilaration when I saw his screen name appear on my buddy list, and the moments of complete despair when I waited for him to appear and he didn't continued throughout all of my waking hours. This was beginning to physically and emotionally exhaust me. Something that was not real could not do these deep arousing things to my very soul. It HAD to be real, and I HAD to meet this man! I wish I could be writing a happily ever after ending to this whole story, but unfortunately I can't. I have not met my "cyber love God", that I sometimes refer to him as, and I suppose there is a chance that I may not ever meet him. My heart feels so distressed at the thought of never being able to hold the man that I have committed every expressive piece of myself to. Our daily chats and camera viewings continue, as does my heartfelt longing for him, and his for me I hope. And someday, if my heart is being truthful to me, we will meet each other and have the opportunity to make both of our dreams happen... "Midnite" >> Continued in Part Two
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