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She's From: United States
He's From: United States
WOW! What a cool addition to the cyber
world of full speed technology!
A live action web camera! My father bought
one a couple years ago so that he could see my brother during their long
distance phone calls. |
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I had never dreamed the day would come so
quickly that you could actually use them in chat rooms. I had been using
the Internet for several years. My time there included building web
sites, frequenting chat rooms, joining Internet communities, posting
single's ads, and even answering a few ads that struck me as interesting
or appealing. During my time on the Internet I have talked to literally
hundreds of different people of all walks of life. Some interesting, and
some quite scary. Interesting or scary, either way, I never took anyone
on the Internet seriously, and most certainly NEVER had the desire to
meet anyone that I had chatted with. Out of complete boredom, in early
October, I found a chat room on Yahoo! where people were chatting on web
cams and inviting anyone to view them. This is where my new cyber love
adventure began!
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The evening of my new discovery I met a really nice guy in the chat room
who allowed me to view him on his camera. We talked, joked, and
described the people that we were each viewing on cameras on our own
computers. My camera views included him but his did not include mine, as
I didn't have a camera (yet)! That evening was the most entertainment I
had gotten from the Internet in the whole 3 years that I had experienced
it. The man I had spoken to throughout the evening was a really nice
guy. He never veered from just normal, innocent Internet chat. By the
end of the night he had me convinced that I had to go buy myself a web
camera!
So, several days later I bought one. When I arrived home with my new
toy, I could not get it installed on my computer fast enough! That
evening I entered the same chat room that I had been visiting previously
so that I could then share my own web camera. After I entered the room I
scrolled down the list of people that were there. The person that had
convinced me to buy my own camera wasn't there, and I have not seen him
again since the night we first spoke. Still, I was so intrigued with
this new addition to cyber world. As I had done during my previous
visits to this somewhat peculiar room, I clicked on each person that had
a camera to see if they would let me view them. That is when I clicked
on the camera that would very quickly invade my every waking and
sleeping thought....
"Tall dark and handsome in PA huh?" I thought to myself as the image of
him was sharpening on my screen. I was so happy to see that some men
actually let you see their face on cam instead of close up views of
random body parts. And he was very cute! Thinking that he looked about
my age, I opened his profile to get some more details on him and
possibly a clearer picture. His profile didn't have a picture of him on
it, he had nothing listed for hobbies or interests, he was located about
7 hours from me, and he listed his age as 37, which is 3 years older
than me. Also, he had no response to his marital status. So, here I was,
curious about a man that was close to my age, yet lived too far away,
probably married, and looking back at me through a tiny window on my
computer and smiling as he told me how attractive he found me. I was so
totally captivated by his every move and his every word that he was
typing to me in our message box. This man was luring me to him very
quickly. Something I had never experienced before was overwhelming me to
the point of disbelief. I could not get enough of him, already! His very
sweet words, and his mesmerizing mannerisms had me somewhere I had never
been before, and will never forget.
This first meeting finally came to an end at 4 am. "It's 4 am!!!" we
both seemed to mention at the same time. We were so completely
astonished at our new discovery that the time just ticked away without
regard. The next day I could not remove the camera image of him from my
mind. I spent most of the day reading our chat archives over and over
again, wishing I could get another glimpse of him. Suddenly, there he
was again, his face, his words, and his smile. Another late night
interlude with my mysterious cyber friend was about to begin. After
feeling lonely and saddened the moment I saw his name fade from my buddy
list, I realized that something wasn't right. After all, how can this
be? This emotionally involved with a man that I never met and most
likely never will? Not possible! Trying to convince myself that I was
beyond this silly cyber romance stuff, I took myself to bed. My mind was
so engraved with thoughts of this mysterious person that I could not
sleep for the first time in my life! After hours of lying in bed I
decided to get up and write him and email. He replied to this email and
talked about how confused he was and how hard he was, like me, trying to
convince himself that this couldn't be real. Much to my surprise, I was
quickly discovering that this man was going through similar physical and
emotional turmoil as I was over this whole "chance meeting" that we had
with each other.
Now, as the days were passing, I had gotten screen captures of his web
cam so I could peek at him during the day when I needed a reminder of
the person that had me so fascinated. These little pictures of him soon
became not enough. Not enough to fulfill my longing to reach out and
touch him and hold him as close to my body as he felt in my heart. Then
I got to speak to him on the phone. I found his voice to be just as
enchanting as every other part of him that I had experienced. Listening
to his voice, he suddenly became very real. Who was this man that had
conquered the challenge that many men have attempted? The challenge of
stealing my heart and allowing me to let down my emotional facade and
feel the things I was feeling in my heart.
Throughout the following days I had gone back and forth from "this isn't
real and you are being silly" to the opposite extreme of "this is VERY
real and you are in love". The moments of total exhilaration when I saw
his screen name appear on my buddy list, and the moments of complete
despair when I waited for him to appear and he didn't continued
throughout all of my waking hours. This was beginning to physically and
emotionally exhaust me. Something that was not real could not do these
deep arousing things to my very soul. It HAD to be real, and I HAD to
meet this man!
I wish I could be writing a happily ever after ending to this whole
story, but unfortunately I can't. I have not met my "cyber love God",
that I sometimes refer to him as, and I suppose there is a chance that I
may not ever meet him. My heart feels so distressed at the thought of
never being able to hold the man that I have committed every expressive
piece of myself to. Our daily chats and camera viewings continue, as
does my heartfelt longing for him, and his for me I hope. And someday,
if my heart is being truthful to me, we will meet each other and have
the opportunity to make both of our dreams happen...
"Midnite">> Continued in
Part
Two
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