|
|
LOL...this really IS a ridiculous way of
going about things, but I grew quickly attached. It actually started to
be pretty fun. After awhile I started hating it because
I couldn't open my mailbox without seeing AT LEAST 50 emails from the
Hot-Or-Not site, saying that "so and so" wanted to "meet" me. I was just
about ready to cancel out everything because my email box was getting
insane. I didn't even respond to half these people only because I was
starting to get confused, and I didn't know who was who...LOL, it was
hilarious. So I would just read what they had to say in response to my
picture, and that was pretty much it for me. The day I got Phil's email
was April 24, 2001. There were about 30-40 other ones I looked at from
my email. So he was unfortunately just "another one", because I couldn't
keep my head straight lol.
I emailed him back with my AOL screen name....but I did that with a lot
of these. I like to TALK to people. If I'm gonna meet someone, I'm not
gonna keep emailing back and forth. So I would tell whoever to just im
me on my name, and we'll talk. So that night, my ims were just
completely making me lose it, between the hot-or-not guys, and my
friends in general....I had to start blocking people. Amidst all of
this, PHIL decides to IM me out of nowhere. At first I didn't even
answer him, I had too many people talking to me. So he imed me again.
And I just told him to give me a second. Then he stopped, and I just
forgot about him. LOL, it sounds SO mean now that I think about it, but
I was swarmed with ims. The next night, I had the same problem. But Phil
imed me AGAIN. I recognized the screen name from the night before, and I
was like--okay let me just talk to this guy. So we start talking, and I
started to actually LIKE talking to him. Now everything else that went
on from then till the end of maybe the first 3 weeks or so, is basically
just getting to know each other, getting closer and so on.
I started doing a weblog around those 3 weeks, just because I was
starting to feel things for this guy....who I had never met, and only
seen pictures of. And I thought I was losing my mind, so I needed to
just write everything down. Maybe it would eventually make sense. Hehe.
Anyway, these entries are VERY important to the completion of this
story, and unfortunately if you want to fully understand our
relationship, you gotta read these. Some are short, some are long, but
please make sure you read them. LOL...some are a bit personal, hehe, but
whatever...I'm not shy. ;P So I'm starting this with my first ever
entry....and then you could read the rest....
************************************************************************
Web Log [5/12/2001 11:30:06 AM]
Since my love for writing has gotten a bit extreme over the years, I
figured a blog (weblog) would be perfect for lil ole me. Just type away
and post. No restrictions on size limit, no blurred out words that just
aren't so good for those virgin ears out there, and no specific topic
choice. Freedom of speech baby. Definitely my kind of website. So since
I'm here, let me start the intriguing. Enter Phil. Yeah....Phil. My Cali
boy. Ya know when I was little I wanted to go be an actress out in
California. Okay random and besides the point. So yeah, anyway. Why is
it that someone can come into your life in a split second, and you are
absolutely hooked? It's so hard to understand it, but it happens I
guess. Completely taking me by surprise one night, Phil decided to send
me a little message that, at the time, I never realized what impact it
would have later on. "Hey". Yeah, that's it. That's the tiny word that
sparked everything inside of me to wake up out of nowhere. Ridiculous
right? But see, at that moment, it was just a simple "hey". I didn't
know this guy. I didn't even know his name was Phil. All I knew was that
he wanted to talk to me. Being the busy online fiend that I am, I
ignored him at first. Bitch? Maybe. Just trying to clear out the 50
other messages that took over my computer screen? Yeah that's more like
it. So I kindly tell this "Phil" character to give me a few minutes,
cause I was busy. Cause you know I just ASSUME that he has nothing
better to do than wait for my stupid ass to grace him back with a simple
message. Apparently, I was right. ;) Finally got rid of enough people so
I could stay sane, and we started to talk. Slowly though, I noticed
myself telling other people I had to go, or that I was way too busy to
talk....just so I could talk to this Cali boy that I had known for the
past 10 minutes. Finally having blocked EVERYONE out, I got down to the
one on one with Phil. Completely passing over every last detail from
that day till now, it's now May 12th, almost 3 weeks from the tiny
"hey". The hey that I thought was just gonna be an online quickie out of
boredom. No pun intended of course...why do I have to be so perverted?
;) But now it's an even bigger hey. That first hey quickly moved to
"HEY!!" (see, that's the "excited to talk to you" hey, hehe), and who
could forget to mention the "You're on my mind all day", and the "I want
to see you so bad", and of course, the "I miss you baby" typings that I
immediately grew attached to. Why is that? 3 weeks, and I have literally
fallen for a guy that I would have never known existed, if he wasn't so
damn persistent in iming me ;) And yes, I thank you so much for that
Phil. (Cause I know you're reading this right now). Hehe. I have no idea
what is going to happen in the next 3 weeks again, or even in the next 3
months. But I know that I have never felt this way about any person that
has come into my life, and I am absolutely loving it. ;)
Web Log [12:58:26 PM]
Sitting here at work, bored to death, and one thing on my mind. No not
THAT thing. Geez, and I thought that I was the perverted one. ;) Really
now. Besides the fact that I am so hungry I am about to go ahead and eat
my finger, hehe....all I can think about is Phil. Maybe it's cause I
never see him and that's why he is always on my mind. Cause there is
that constant sense of wondering. But I don't think that's it. No, it's
not. The fact that I have such a connection with him....that's what is
so weird to me. I mean really now, beside the fact that he is just
identical to what I look for in a guy (because it's sick how much he
is), who in their right mind thinks White Tigers are the best animals in
the world?? ;) (I know you're laughing right now baby, but you know it's
so true, hehe) Do you even KNOW how many damn animals there ARE in this
world?? So I'm sayin. The little things that are coincidentally popping
up as the two of us being ridiculously similiar.....it's all too weird.
Finishing each other's sentences, knowing what the other is gonna say
before they actually do....call me crazy, but it's not normal. Okay well
maybe it's actually VERY normal to the other 50 million people falling
into an unexpected internet "romance", if you will...and I am just at
the beginning of getting used to it. But until I figure out why the hell
I have been feeling this way, I'll still be confused on the issue.
Web Log [5/13/2001 11:32:05 AM]
Sitting here at work, bored to death, and one thing on my mind. No not
THAT thing. Geez, and I thought that I was the perverted one. ;) Really
now. Besides the fact that I am so hungry I am about to go ahead and eat
my finger, hehe....all I can think about is Phil. Maybe it's cause I
never see him and that's why he is always on my mind. Cause there is
that constant sense of wondering. But I don't think that's it. No, it's
not. The fact that I have such a connection with him....that's what is
so weird to me. I mean really now, beside the fact that he is just
identical to what I look for in a guy (because it's sick how much he
is), who in their right mind thinks White Tigers are the best animals in
the world?? ;) (I know you're laughing right now baby, but you know it's
so true, hehe) Do you even KNOW how many damn animals there ARE in this
world?? So I'm sayin. The little things that are coincidentally popping
up as the two of us being ridiculously similar.....it's all too weird.
Finishing each other's sentences, knowing what the other is gonna say
before they actually do....call me crazy, but it's not normal. Okay well
maybe it's actually VERY normal to the other 50 million people falling
into an unexpected internet "romance", if you will...and I am just at
the beginning of getting used to it. But until I figure out why the hell
I have been feeling this way, I'll still be confused on the issue.
I have so much work that needs to get friggin done today....all this
accounting crap. But I've recently noticed that I have a strange
addiction to this Blogger crap, or whatever. So I'm taking a 5 minute
break just to clear my head (since I can't go tanning right now hehe),
and I figured I'd stop in here to write some more. So anyways yeah, uhh...
I had such a bad night last night. I don't know what came over me. I
just got so afraid, but out of nowhere. I keep thinking of all these
things with Phil, and honestly they are all just freaking me out. As
stupid and as crazy as this sounds, cause I know it sounds just
absolutely ridiculous.....my heart feels like it found its best friend.
That is really the truth. I don't know any better way to put it. I mean,
I believe there is a reason for everything, and I STRONGLY believe that
there is someone out there for everyone. And I know that I was meant to
meet Phil. I KNOW this because of how I feel. And I've said this more
than once before when it comes to him, but I have never been more
serious. The smile that automatically crosses my face when I just THINK
of him....I don't know how to explain it. He could just say something
about "us", and my stomach flips like when you're 5 yrs old and so
excited about something. ;) It's the weirdest thing. Or even just when
we talk, and I get this stupid glow about me. Everyone I know sees it
too. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. LOL. Apparently though it's
something. Cause they have been coming up to me asking me what's going
on, telling me I look like I'm on Cloud 9, even my mother has said I've
been a lot more thoughtful with my "siblings". Hehe. I'm like, I don't
know what you people are talking about. ;) Even though I DO know. ;) My
heart though. It's soooo weird. Besides the fact that it hurts because
he's so far away, and I have all these visions in my head of how it
could be, but it's not.......my heart is so happy. Quick story ;) .....I
had a recent boyfriend named Joey, and we dated for 7 months. I THOUGHT
he was my first love. I really really felt this way. But the way I felt
about him as a person, and how I "loved" his friendship, and just his
"way".......there is no comparison to how I feel with Phil. I'm not
gonna go into 2 hour long detail on that, but I know how I feel.
Whatever it may be. I don't like to question my feelings. Especially
when they're about caring for someone. I should just know, and leave it
at that. So that's what I'm gonna do. Leave those feelings where they
are and not bother them hehe. I just can't stop thinking about how
amazing it could be with him. I can't believe how much I can write on
here about this situation. It's just not like me.
Web Log [5/14/2001 10:13:00 PM]
Okay I'm really bored. I can only do so much with this web camera thing,
and its not fun anymore. Hehe, I don't know, never mind. I'm hungry
though (what else is new....geez thank God I'm not like 200 pounds,
right?) Ya know something, these birth control pills SUCK big time. I
think I cried 3 times today for no apparent reason at all. Someone could
look at me wrong and I'll start bawling. It's awful. I hate being a girl
as it is. Not to mention that its even worse when you're getting a
double dosage of your friggin girl hormones and everything is up in the
air. Ughh, I can't deal. LOL, look at how stressed out I am!?!? I'm
making myself neurotic for God's sake. Oh well. So Phil is online right
now but he isn't talking to me cause he has work to do. I hate that he's
online and I can't talk to him. This is killing me, you just don't know,
hehe....I swear. Anyways, what else. Ummm......my boobs hurt. LOL. My
God, I can't even begin to tell you. Can you imagine when I get pregnant
years from now?? I will be complaining left and right. That's all I do,
I'm such a baby. I have to stop this. But they hurt cause these damn
pills. I thought they were supposed to be good pills. So far all I am is
just annoyed lol. Plus I miss Phil so much. I want to be with him like
RIGHT NOW. Just laying on the beach with candles around us, looking at
the stars....a nice breeze.... (not too nice that it blows out the
candles lol), and just having him hold me, and play with my hair, and
kiss me, and just block out everything in the world for that second
except me and him, just together. WOW, the smile that just crossed my
face. Can't even go there right now ;) What is WITH me?!?! This is
insane! Jessica, you KNOW this is absolutely ridiculous. You never get
like this, and oh my God I just realized I'm talking to myself. Holy
shit. LOL, I have to shutup. What the HELL is wrong with you!? Aghh, I
did it again! STOP IT. LOL, oh my goodness. This is nuts. I can't get
him off my mind. I try SO hard to, but it never works. All I do is think
about him. No matter what it is that I'm doing, it's always him. NO, I'm
not DOING HIM. LOL although..... ---okay okay we wont go there. I'm so
bad I have to cut that out. The thought that just went through my
head....DAMN. Okay stop. LOL. I MISS HIM so much. It's just that I've
never felt this way before, and it's the most amazing feeling. To know
that there is someone out there that you care so much about, and they
feel the same way, it's so nice. That means so much to me. I started
thinking again about the whole soul-mate thing. I wish I knew WHY he
came into my life, aside from the ever so helpful "hot or not" ordeal. I
wish I knew the underlying reason. Heh look at me with the big words ;)
But it's true though. You don't know why people are placed in your path,
but they are there for reasons. Sometimes it's ex boyfriends that were
purposely supposed to meet you just to hurt you, so that way you would
learn the feeling of pain, and at the same time get stronger. And then
there are friends that are put in your path to just backstab you, so you
would learn about trust, and realize who your TRUE friends are. And
sometimes it's just complete strangers that enter your life out of
NOWHERE, but leave the biggest imprint on your heart. And now I'm just
trying to understand where exactly he fits in. All I know for SURE is
that this whole Jess/Phil thing, and whatever it's intended to be in the
end....I'll be able to understand as soon as I look at him. Cause I
know. And my heart knows. If I look in his eyes, and I feel a sense of
completion, then I know the answer to my question. But until then I'm
not saying one word about that hehe. Cause I'll just depress myself. So.
Basically, that's what I'm saying. Hmm, he just went to eat dinner. Yeah
cause it's like 7:00 by him. And I'm still starving. Hehe. Maybe I'll
eat something now too. K. I'm out.
Web Log [5/15/2001 10:46:42 PM]
I can't believe that I haven't written in this all day. I'm not loyal,
but hey, I also have a life ya know. ;) Anyhow, I talked to Phil today,
and he said the sweetest thing to me. First off, I was kind of just in a
bla mood, yeah I said bla...hehe just cause we have been busy doing
things, and we talk every once in awhile, as opposed to all the time.
WOW--there's a run-on sentence if I ever saw one ;) Personally, I just
can't get enough of him, and if I could talk to him 24/7 - - I would. So
cut to the chase, I just casually mentioned to him that I haven't talked
to him in awhile. Granted I talk to this guy everyday, but like I
said...."awhile" in my terms means like in the past 3 hours. ;) So I
guess I was kinda bummed just because I absolutely LOVE talking to him.
So I'm sitting here just telling him this stuff, and he went and said
just the sweetest thing to me. He goes, "It doesn't matter how many
times a day I talk to you or not. You are still always in my head and in
my HEART." Okay yeah, pills getting to me, I nearly cried. LOL, I swear.
So I just smiled to myself, controlled my girly emotions the best I
could, and I was happy. My heart actually was lifted because of how
happy I was when he said that. LOL, you'd think he asked me to marry him
or something, with the way I can go on about a little thing like this.
But to me it means a lot. And it's even better coming from him. ;)
Something happened to me tonight too, that has to do with him. Well sort
of. I was sitting on my couch watching tv and a show came on like
Dateline or something. And for some reason, he popped in my head, and
with that came like this huge vision of "us". Now I'm not gonna go into
detail about what exactly came to my head, but it made me cry as soon as
it hit me. Yeah the pills have little help with that effect that I've
been dealing with lol. But this was actually real. And I pictured this
in my head, and it was VERY real. And the fact that I said to myself
right then that I had never "saw" this with anyone else that has come
into my life. But for some reason tonight, what I saw was with him. And
like I said, I'm not saying another word about what it was, because
that's just for me to know. And I don't know if I will ever tell him.
But if I do, it will be sometime in the future. Not now. Well I just
wanted to note that for my own reasons, so now I'm done I guess. Boring
night. I'm out.
Web Log [5/16/2001 11:11:14 PM]
Okay I feel so shitty right now. I said some stuff to Phil tonight, and
now I really regret it. I don't like having regrets. I hate them. But
this time its really getting to me. I told him how much I cared about
him, and how in my heart I truly know how I feel. But see, that's the
bad part. I actually was going to tell him everything I felt, but I
refused to. I KNOW how he would react, and I know what he would say. And
that's why I've been putting it off. Not to mention it would probably
ruin everything we may have, and I didn't want to risk that. I'm
completely making this sound like what I feel is such a terrible thing.
But it's the total opposite. He just kept bugging me and bugging me to
tell him what I had to say. But I just couldn't. I knew he would freak,
because I know how he feels about certain things. And I feel so bad
because it looks like I am hiding something from him, and I tell him
everything. So this little "secret" or whatever the hell you wanna call
it, is making me feel like shit. I just kept trying to dance around
things that basically summed up every feeling I have for him. And at
first I know he had no idea what I was going to tell him, but then after
awhile I just got annoyed. Because its something so important to me,
because its MY feelings for someone, and then he just said, "its okay,
fine, i understand, fine." And then that scared the hell out of me cause
I know it hit him. He's not a stupid guy.
Reading this damn web log thing right now anyone could figure out what
the hell I was talking about. Doesn't take a brain surgeon. So then I
tried to figure out if he really had an idea about what I wanted to tell
him, and if I know him as well as I think I do.....then he got the idea.
I just didn't want to tell him. And I wish I never even told him THAT
much...and that was nothing lol. But it totally made me look like an
idiot. Because I know I ruined so much stuff just from the conversation
we had tonight. And I wish I never even would have HINTED at anything.
I'm such an ass though. I really am. He kept telling me, just tell me
just tell me. And I told him, NO, you DON'T want to make me tell you
this Phil. Bla bla bla. So much good that did. I didn't tell him
anything but I still made myself look stupid, not to mention I know he
figured everything out. But ya know what, in a way I'm proud of myself.
I'm happy that I stood by my word and refused to tell him anything.
Regardless of what he may THINK he knows. I still never actually SAID
anything ;) Hehe. For real though. All I'm saying is that this guy just
makes me crazy. Hehe, in a good way. ;) The feelings that have built up
for him are just unreal. But they ARE real, I just never felt them
before. WHATEVER they may end up being later. That's why I need to see
him in the worst way. Because it will help me so much to know whether or
not the stuff I feel is for real, or if its just a "safe" escape for me
from my closer relationships. And this is why I need to be with him.
Face to face. No more phone to phone crap lol. Just look in his eyes,
and that will tell me everything. Maybe I'll HATE what it actually tells
me, ya never know. But whatever it does tell my heart, I'll feel much
better knowing. I dont like lies, and I live for honesty. If I'm feeling
a certain way about him, I have got to be honest with myself and make
sure what I'm feeling is real. And that can't happen to a full extent
till I'm with him. And funny thing is, I know EXACTLY how I feel, I know
EXACTLY the stuff I would accidentally blurt out to him because I feel
so strongly about it, and I know EXACTLY why he came into my life. I
have absolutely no doubts when it comes to Phil. But I have doubts when
it comes to me. And ya know something. Screw it. The thing I wanted to
tell him about tonight WILL eventually be said. And I don't care if he
wants to hear it or not. I'm not going to deny my feelings because of
the situation not being exactly a normal one. So like I said, one day I
will tell him face to face, and what he chooses to respond with is
completely up to him. Be it good or bad. And that is the end of that.
Web Log [5/17/2001 12:53:38 PM]
I'm leaving for my lunch break in a few minutes, and this whole thing
with Phil is still really bothering me. A LOT. I told Theresa today what
I have been wanting to tell Phil. And I'm like, "Do you think I'm
absolutely insane that I'm feeling this way?" And she said, "Not at all
Jess. I know how much you care about him, and wanting to tell him that
is not insane or whatever." But she also said that if it was HER, she
wouldn't tell him right now. Just as I figured. I KNEW I did the right
thing by not telling him. Because like I said, I KNOW how he feels about
this, and it would kill me to tell him something and have him not be
able to tell me anything back because either he doesn't feel the same
way, OR just for his own reasons.....or for the complete obvious that it
may just have freaked him out. (Phil, if you don't know by now what the
hell I'm talking about, then there's nothing else I can do but TELL
YOU...and thats not gonna happen right now hehe.) And not to mention the
fact that I still think I'm losing my mind over this whole situation and
my feelings and how they are so damn strong and whatever. As it may be.
I PURPOSELY told myself when I first started talking to him...okay just
take it day by day, don't have any expectations, you may end up with a
great friend for the rest of your life here, ya never know. AND THEN,
what the hell??
All these friggin feelings just appeared from absolutely nowhere, and I
was left with my heart feeling in ways it's NEVER felt for anyone. How
could I feel this way about someone I've never met?? I swear I think I'm
going crazy. And it pisses me off. Cause I know what I'm feeling is for
real. When I talk to Theresa about him, and how I feel, I NEVER say "I
think....", because deep down I just know. She makes me laugh though
because she just keeps telling me, "oh but it's all so romantic." I'm
like yeah. Romantic my ass. It's torture. UGHH. I have never been so mad
in my life. And I'm not even mad at anyone lol. I'm just mad that I put
myself in the situation. THAT'S what I'm pissed off at. I voluntarily
knew what I was doing, and I friggin went ahead anyway and got to know
him. WAIT. Wait wait. Ya know what though? I never in my right mind ever
thought that I would fall for him. NEVER. I never even thought that I
would actually be looking at my future and seeing this complete stranger
IN IT. I mean, all I knew is that he thought I was hot. LOL. Or whatever
he thought I don't know. Cause of the stupid hot or not site. And that
was it. So I can't technically be mad at myself because I never KNEW it
would get this serious. ;) Yeah go me. Hehe. So as for what I had to
tell you Phil.......baby, it's obvious. I know you're not stupid. I know
you can figure it out if you haven't already. I'm still not gonna tell
you until I'm actually with you. And even then I don't know if I would
tell you. All because I'm a big baby, hehe, and I'm afraid to hear what
would come out of your mouth right back at me. I don't know. It's how I
feel, I can't help that even if I wanted to. So hopefully this little
thing made you figure it out. And hopefully you'll see why I CAN'T
physically tell you. Because I'm afraid. And like you've said to me
before, which also made me question my feelings when I shouldn't
have......it's not something you just throw around
Web Log [5/18/2001 12:45:21 PM]
Alrighty, here we go. After last night's dramatic episode of the
wonderful life of Jessica, I don't see how I'm gonna be able to top this
post today. Phil (who I know is reading this right now, hehe) said
something last night that I never thought he would say. Apparently I was
wrong. He said what I've been waiting to hear from him since I knew that
I felt this way. He told me he loved me. :) I can't even begin to go
into detail with just how happy I was when he said this. I don't even
think there are words to describe it. Hehe. But it completely shocked me
all together anyway. I don't remember that much, but I know I was just
babbling away like I have a tendency to do way too much hehe. And I just
got annoyed, so I said, okay lets start with the basics, are we on the
same page, do we feel the same way, bla bla bla. And completely
interrupting me, all of a sudden I hear, Jessica I love you. Ummm, yeah.
Talk about shutting me up. That's a first lol. ;) I was in total shock.
I tried to talk, but nothing came out hehe, and I was like, uhh, okay.
Yeah wow. Hehe. I seriously couldn't say anything. Even though I knew
what I was going to say, because in my heart I know it's how I feel. But
I could NOT SAY IT. I felt so bad not saying anything back to him. Hehe,
I think I was just so taken back hearing those words, I was speechless.
A very RARE event that happens to me on occasion as we all know. ;)
So yeah. I literally felt my heart just light up. It just sucks though.
Cause when he said it, I was just so happy that I wanted to grab him and
kiss him, hehe. (yeah that would have been nice babe huh lol).....but I
had to just sit there and take it all in by myself. Oh well. Hehe then
this was so cute though. Out of nowhere, he started getting all weird
after that. I guess it didn't help that I didn't say it back to him. I
would have been questioning everything too. So I forgot how it started
but he's like, "Well did you not want me to say it? Are you mad at me?
But I want to make sure that, bla bla bla". It was hilarious. So he's
just going on and on now I guess doubting what he said. And I must have
said his name like 3 times, trying to interrupt his little
"fit"......and finally I was just like "PHIL!". Hehe. And he's like,
"what". It was so cute. So I just said "I love you too". And then this
huge smile just crossed my face, like it always does when I talk to
him...but this time it was different. I feel so relieved like I got this
huge thing off my shoulders. I mean really now. There's only so much you
could do about really caring for someone. And knowing about a certain
extra thing that you are feeling, and are just afraid to tell that
person...it sucks. So I felt much better hehe. And now, I have to find a
way to to get to see him. It's KILLING ME inside to know that I have
feelings for someone, and I can't physically show them :( Why do I have
to like kissing so much?? LOL. Not to mention everything else like
cuddling, and hugging, and just laying in someone's arms and falling
asleep....and UGHHHH. I'm gonna make myself really mad right now so I
have to stop. Hehe. It's just not fair. But ya know what, I am not just
gonna throw something like this away because of a tiny (okay well maybe
a little more than tiny hehe) thing called "DISTANCE". I just won't.
Because this is real, and I'm not about to ruin it, and give up on what
chances we "may" have. Ya know? Okay I'm done....time to go to lunch in
like 10 minutes. I am way beyond starving hehe. But gotta watch the
figure LOL. Oh geez....like I actually listen to my advice. PSHHH,
RIGHT. When I'm hungry, I eat dammit. LOL. Okay I'm out.
***********************************************************************
OKAY....there are plenty more of these, but I think you've read enough
LOL. I warned you before....you had to read these to understand where we
are at right now. So skipping over from this last entry till now....
We are VERY happy together. Although it's VERY hard to keep up a long
distance relationship like ours...being that we ARE 3,000 miles away, we
do what we can. We talk every day, at LEAST 5 times a day. Without
communication this relationship would be hard to take in. It's funny,
because even though we both know we are soul-mates, the people around us
notice it too. Family members, friends, they all feel that this is it.
That we make a beautiful couple, and cannot be happier for us. Granted
at first they thought we lost our minds hehe, but once they saw our
happiness, and what we are able to give to each other, they also started
to feel the same way. And like I said, I'm moving out to California
after November. So after that, we can finally be happy for good I guess.
:) I know that that I'm supposed to be out there. I know that he's the
one. And we BOTH know that we want to spend the rest of our lives
together. We've never been happier.
"Jessica"
>> Continued in
Part
Two
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