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So, I responded cooly to it.
While, responding--I peeked at his profile. Suprisingly, he had a small
online site and I hopped on. Wow....as I scrolled down the page, I
noticed that one of his favorite quotes was a Bible passage. That was
impressive and it convinced me that all in all--he's probably an okay
guy. His smile seemed sincere enough...but I wasn't totally convinced.
After a brief conversation on Messenger, we made plans to chat again, if
we happened to be online at the same time. I can remember one of his
last comments to me..."Well, um, it was nice meeting you. I guess...." I
figured it was due to my passive responses, so I replied, "You guess?"
His response? "Well, I still don't know your name."
I had to giggle. Here, was a guy, who introduced himself like a
gentleman and I still hadn't divulged my name. Smiling, I typed, "Cristy"
(no last name of course, I still needed to be vague on that issue).
After exchanging goodbyes, we logged off.
Most of the time, I forget about the conversations I've had. There are
very few people who can sustain my interest--but he did. I was
intrigued. He was very respectable, polite, and a Christian. Not just a
"Christian" for show, I could tell that he truely believed in his faith.
I was excited to chat with him again--excited that I had made another
Christian friend.
Tuesday, October 10th. That date will stand out in my memory, forever. I
was online, as usual, chatting with my friends in CC:4 (Christian Chat).
We were having another one of those heated discussions, when, *beep* I
recieve the "Hey there." IM from Jason. Now, I'm not one to ignore my
buddies--so I told them I'd BRB and answered the page. Almost
immediately we started a discussion. We talked about music, our favorite
sports, college, families, our same-month birthdays, and our faith. I
was amazed at how easily we could joke around and how he "got" my
sarcastic sense of humor. After a chatting for a while, he made the
comment that my "smile intrigued him". Well, now. That was a first for
me. Usually I get the typical, "You have a nice smile" routine.
So we continued chatting (for hours, no joke) and he would make polite
references here and there about my "being pretty" or having a "nice
smile". Knowing how we all do possess that physical instinct in us, I
did the ladylike thing. I would post: "*smile* Thank you." You know,
it's alot easier chatting with someone when you can picture what they
look like. I guess that's what made it a little easier for Jason and I.
When I looked at my clock, I couldn't believe that it was about 3:20
a.m. (my time)...which meant it was around 12:20 a.m. (his time). Early
for him, late for me. :) I reluctantly signed off. For the past few
hours I experienced a great time with a wonderful person. He was warm,
funny, cute and intelligent. There was a small twinge (from the get-go)
on my heart. We promised to chat again the next night, if we could make
it online.
The next day, I recieved the cutest cyber-card from Jason. It was a
fortune cookie that just stated that he enjoyed talking with me and
hoped we could chat again soon. I absolutely love cyber-cards, so I
found it a sweet gesture. Not many people will remember the chat, let
alone, send you a little note of thanks.
Then, the email came. Which I didn't really expect. I mean, we had
exchanged addresses, almost as a point of validity of who we were. Of
course, it flowed with the carefree chat of the night before and very
thoughtful. He started it by, "Hey there beautiful, " Now, I admit--that
may be a stab at cheesy to some...but after our chat, it was
considerate. I had been in a previous long-term relationship which had
lowered my self-esteem considerably. We had chatted about it and he knew
that I was in the process of boosting my outlook. He was just giving me
that smile on my face that he knew I needed.
In the email, he just asked me a few more questions and ended it with a
very sweet touch. ".....so, I thought I'd email you and tell you that I
really had a good time chatting last night, you're a really great woman,
and I look forward to our friendship growing more and more. I hope you
had a great day, and I hope to see you online tonight."
I was breathing a small sigh of relief. He had said, "friendship". Not
that I wasn't looking for more--in fact , there was a large part of me
that became intrigued and fascinated by him rather quickly. Almost like
a really good first date. I was just relieved that he had said it,
before I did.
Then, it came. The
crazy, nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that at any
moment now, he could come online. I wasn't quite sure what another
marathon session would do for our friendship. There was no doubt that it
would get stronger--but would it become too strong? We were lucky, there
was a kindred connection from the beginning. We were on the same road in
life, just cruising along. We had the same thoughts on romance, we knew
that God had a plan for each of us, we just had to trust in Him.
The minute he came online, I knew that once again, I was going to be
sleep deprived the next morning. We started chatting about
everything....from our day, to remembering things about last night, even
what we wished for in the future. I can't honestly remember a lot of our
conversation, there were so many words floating around--along with the
occasional flirting. I do remember that I felt comfortable enough in
sharing addresses and phone numbers. So we did, without hesitation, and
I made plans to give him a call later in the week.
The marathon chat continued and continued :)...finally, I had to get
offline for a few moments, not only to clear my head, but to do a few
things. I was really timid about heading back. I knew that we were both
feeling the connection, I was just concerned at how far this connection
went.
That's when a new set of emotions came into play. Literally, I was
shaking at my keyboard. I knew that the words were going to come out,
sooner or later. Then, it happened.....the words that I was longing and
dreading to hear... "I think I'm falling in love with you."
*screech* That put a halt on my world for at least a good minute. I
couldn't respond. I was just sitting there, shaking, with tears in my
eyes. Part of me was elated, the other part....thought we were being
absolutely crazy. I kept picturing my map, seeing my state at one end of
the coast and his on another. I was scared of the feelings I knew had
grown so strongly. Parts of my mind were flooded with thoughts of the
strain that this statement is going to put on both of our lives.
Then, I agreed...I was feeling the same way. That night, I prayed and
entrusted God to lead us forward. I know that I've felt his grace
already, he's given me more patience and confidence than I thought I
could ever possess.
Part 2 to come soon!
"Cristy"
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