That left him to raise 2 children on his own, which I am proud to say he did very good at being a dad & a mother. But he is so insecure of love and after being hurt by his second wife and other g/friends, his love toward me is very hard to show. Oh don't get me wrong, I know now he loves me very much.

When we started out I was not so sure of his love for me or even if we were gonna make it. See I came down here to be with him, I left my home, family and friends and I am 1,300 miles from home. Let me share some things that I went thru, that made me feel like he didn't love me or want me.

When I went to touch him he would move away or act like he didn't wanna be touched (only when he wanted too). After a few months of feeling rejected, I got to where I wouldn't touch him (I was afraid of being rejected again). It hurt a lot, but I didn't realize that maybe he was afraid to get close to me in fear I would leave him, Like his 2nd wife did and his g/friends have. I couldn't leave him, For I felt real love like I have never felt before. If you have ever felt love, really felt it inside, you will know where I am coming from. I can sit next to him and if he holds my hand or even smiles at me I have such a wonderful feeling inside like I have never felt before (which I haven't).

Anyways I took months of his controlling me and yelling at me and other things that would hurt me. I felt like I didn't know if he loved me or not, Sure he said he did, but saying it and showing it, are two different things. So to make a long story short, last night I couldn't sleep and he couldn't either.

He thought I was asleep when he got out of bed and went to another bed. I got up and got on the computer (same thing that brought us together came close to destroying us). Well anyway when I turned it on and went to get my e-mail it brought up his alias e-mail with a picture of a girl he had on here months ago before I came along. On it she put "Hope u like what u see". I got really angry and took off in the car. He came after me and I told him "How could you do that to me? I left everything and everyone back home for you". Then I told him he could have the chick (being nice) he actually said "bitch" and all the rest out here.

We were up all night. I have never heard a man beg and plead like he did. He knew I was gonna leave him for good. Happy to say we did talk things out. I think patience and understanding and real love w/compassion is a lot better than just throwing in the towel,

Don't think he will ever care to see another girls pic. Just some advice - if u do get w/someone out here, don't rush into anything, get to know each other first.

You can't know the happy, without knowing the sad. C-ya'll for now.

"Sherry" 

>> Continued in Part Four