I've known this guy, Andy, for a couple of years but I didn't really think much of him at first as he was really quiet. When I was 15 and he was 16 however, both our families went on a trip to a theme park and me and Andy seemed to get on really well. Weeks passed after that and then he sent me a random email telling me to download MSN messenger. So I did and at first, we didn't really chat much because, we were practically strangers. Then one day, when I was 17 (he was 18) me, him and another friend were chatting and she started teasing me and Andy about the fact that we both fancied each other. 

We decided to play along with it and even after my friend left the chat room, we still carried the act on. We mailed each other everyday after that ending each mail with...'lots of love and hugs and kisses.' It soon became more than just a joke. I started falling head over heels in love with him. We used to chat every night for 5 hrs sometimes. Sometimes it would be really light hearted, other times, deep and meaningful. We got on so well and part of the fun was neither our friends or our parents knew how much we chatted to each other on MSN. This went on for 6 months.....emailing each other everyday and chatting. He even wrote me a 2 sided letter telling me what he had done each day when he went on holiday cos he couldn't get access to email! Finally, he had to go to university. I was heartbroken because I knew deep down that things wouldn't be the same. I did visit him at uni (to this day, no-one knows about that either) but we are 'just friends' so nothing happened. I couldn't tell him how I felt because I was afraid of rejection....I still am. 

The strange thing is, all we were were just friends really. We did say we loved each other and stuff, but that was just the continuance of the joke started all those months ago. I don't know if he loved me the way I love him still. We still email each other every day but we hardly speak cos he has loads of work. I cry myself to sleep most nights thinking about what could have been. We were made for each other and he was the first guy I've ever loved. I just want to tell everyone that although internet romances are great, just make sure you don't get too involved because it breaks your heart when things don't work out.

"Kavita"