I thought since we were so close it had to work out. We became close and had been chatting for 6 months. Then I called him one day because he didn't want me to feel unsafe about giving my phone number out.

He was two years older than me. So I called him and we talked all night. We had so many things in common. He just seemed so great. We began talking every night and became closer sharing more intimate details and other common interests. he was everything I was looking for and I really began to feel I was in love with him. Afraid of rejection I kept it to myself.

Then one day, we were talking, I'll never forget it was 4 days before Valentine's Day, he told me that he loved me and hoped that I felt the same.
 

He sounded nervous when he said it and I knew he meant it. I told him I did feel the same but was too afraid to tell him.

He asked me if I would be his "Eve" (he used analogies a lot) I said yes and so began our relationship. I knew he had plans for his future. He was going to move even farther away from me in a few months. We planned what we would do when the time came for him to leave. We still loved each other very much, or so I thought. Three months had passed and one day I didn't hear from him. It didn't bother me much. I was a little worried, but thought maybe he was just really busy. Then two weeks had passed and still no emails, offline messages, of phone calls. I began to sink into my depression again. I gave up. I lost him.

I spent most of my time after that hoping he would show up online and say hi. I hardly left my room and some people noticed. I turned to my other online buddies for comfort and advice. One day I signed on and found no one to talk to. So I went to a chat room. I didn't IM anyone so I waited for them to IM me. I was using my mic and found myself in a conversation between two guys. They seemed nice enough. We talked about their sexual experiences, me being a virgin really didn't say much. So I listened and and laughed as one tried to continuously flirt with me. Sweet but I wasn't interested. The other however was a perfect gentleman. I told them I was going to leave because it sounded like they were having fun with another girl who had just arrived. So the flirtatious one said goodbye. I didn't hear anything from the second one whom I will now refer to as Jon.

I left the room and was attempting to search for another when an IM popped up. It was Jon! He asked why I left and said he wanted to talk some more. So we turned on our mics and continued to talk. We talked for a while and became friends. I never would have thought that I would fall in love with him. Much less hear him say he fell for me. But things developed. A month had passed when in a poem he wrote he asked me to be his girlfriend. Flattered and excited I said yes. It took some convincing from myself though because I was still hurt from my previous relationship. He knew about all that happened and he had been hurt the same. We were like kindred spirits.

He helped me in times my depression got the best of me and we talked everyday. I felt safe when he would assure me he would never hurt me. Three months into our relationship my aunt passed away. She was like a mother to me and it was like a breaking point for me. I wanted to kill myself. He knew I had suicidal thoughts before we got together and he tried to help steer me away from them. But when this happened he knew anything could happen. He wanted me to call him so I did and all that night I cried on the phone and he talked to me. Convincing me that it wasn't the way. He cried with me telling me he wouldn't know what to do if I did such a thing. He said he wanted me to be his wife and grow old with me. He told me I was his world and if I died then he'd lose a part of himself because I completed him.

So I said I would always love him and that I didn't want to hurt him. I cried the rest of the night. And he calmed me down. We planned to run away together but many things prevented that. So when the time is right I am going to leave and move in with him. He proposed to me a few weeks ago. I accepted. I have known what he looks like when we first met and I have talked to him on the phone countless times. I really am in love with him. But these days have not been going so well. I haven't heard from him in two weeks and am afraid of a repeat of the past. I'm scared of being hurt again. I will always love him no matter what happens. I just hope he feels the same.

"Eve"